Friday, December 4, 2009

In The Mood of Celebration


Yuletide is the name given to the period around Christmas.

The name “Yuletide” comes from the Scandinavians, for whom 'Yultid' was the festival celebrated at the twelfth month. This was the twelfth name of Odin (Jul), who was supposed to come to earth in December, disguised in a hooded cloak. He would sit awhile at the firesides listening to the people, and if there was poverty, he left gifts, usually bread or coins.

On the night of December 20, the god Ingvi Freyr rides over the earth on the back of his shining boar, bringing Light and Love back into the World.

In later years after the influence of Christianity, the god Baldur, then Jesus, was reborn at this festival. Jul signifies the beginning and end of all things, it is the darkest time (shortest hour of daylight) during the year and the brightest hope re-entering the world.
During this festival, the Wild Hunt is at its greatest fervor, and the dead are said to range the Earth in its retinue. The god Wotan (Odin) is the leader of this Wild Ride- charging across the sky on his eight-legged horse, Sleipnir.

In ancient times, Germanic and Norse children would leave their boots out by the hearth on Solstice Eve, filled with hay and sugar, for Sleipnir's journey. In return, Wotan would leave them a gift for their kindness.

In modern times, Sleipnir was changed to a reindeer and the grey-bearded Wotan became the kindly Santa Claus (Father Christmas).

So lets remember that many of the associated Christmas and Yule celebrations actually date back to before Christ and were adopted or altered from their original meanings. Things like Feasting gift giving, pudding, tree decorating(Yggdrasil), father xmas, holly, mistletoe, reindeer, yule logs, hanging stockings up, leaving food out, candles, yule and the 12 days of xmas all are original pagan activities.

Many people today think that Father Christmas is just the British name for Santa Claus. Whilst it is true that Father Christmas and Santa are considered virtually the same today, Father Christmas is a completely different person entirely, with a much longer history.

The earliest Father Christmas appeared during ancient British mid-winter festivals. He wasn't known as Father Christmas then, of course, but as a general pagan figure who represented the coming of spring.
When Britain fell under Saxon rule in the fifth and sixth centuries AD, Father Christmas took on the characteristics of the Saxon Father Time, also known as King Frost or King Winter.

This association was strengthened when the Vikings invaded Britain and brought their own midwinter traditions with them. The 20th through the 31st of December is known as Jultid -- the time when the Norse God Odin takes on the character of Jul, one of his twelve characters, and visits the earth. The name lives on today as Yuletide. During Jultid Odin, a portly, elderly man with a white beard and a long, blue, hooded cloak was said to have ridden through the world on his eight-legged horse Sleipnir, giving gifts to the good and punishments to the bad. Our Father Christmas became fat like Odin and developed the ability to automatically know whether people had been bad or good. Also like Odin, Father Christmas could travel magically and be in lots of places in a short space of time.


In Norse beliefs, a connection to mistletoe is found with the Norse god, Balder. In order to protect him from harm, his father, Odin, and his mother, Frigga, asked the elements and all living beings never to harm Balder.
However, they forgot to ask the mistletoe. Loki, a rival of Balder made an arrow of mistletoe and gave it to Balder’s blind brother, Hoder, to shoot. Loki promised to help Hoder aim the arrow, but he aimed at Balder instead of the target. Thus, Balder was killed.
After the elements tried to restore his life and failed, Balder was restored to life by his mother, whose tears turned into the pearly white berries on the mistletoe. Frigga, rejoicing for her son’s return, forgave the mistletoe and gave it a blessing (in the form of a kiss) for everyone who stands under it.
So hanging mistletoe became a symbol of blessings and good fortune for celebrations.

- Kommano88 at some forum on the net. ;) -

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Never Knew I Needed

I'm just over Ne-Yo's single previously which lyrics & tune i'm so totally in love with and now i'm already obsessed with this new song of him featured as OST for the Disney's animated picture, "The Princess & The Frog" - Never Knew I Needed. What more can i possibly say? Other than, awesomeness rule! [grin]

Here's the special lyrics...
For the way you changed my plans
For being the perfect distraction
For the way you took the idea that I have
Of everything that I wanted to have
And made me see there was something missing (oh yeah)
For the ending of my first begin
(Ooh yeah yeah)(ooh yeah yeah)
And for the rare and unexpected friend
(Ooh yeah yeah)(ooh yeah yeah)
For the way you’re something that I never choose
But at the same time something I don’t wanna lose
And never wanna be without ever again (oh oh)
You’re the best thing I Never Knew I Needed
So when you were here I had no idea
You’re the best thing I never knew I needed
So now it’s so clear I need you here always
My accidental happily (ever after oh oh oh)
The way you smile and how you comfort me (with your laughter)
I must admit you were not a part of my book
But now if you open it up and take a look
You’re the beginning and the end of every chapter (oh oh)
You’re the best thing I never knew I needed (oh)
So when you were here I had no idea
You’re the best thing I never knew I needed (that I needed)
So now it’s so clear I need you here always
Who’d knew that I’d be here (who’d knew that I’d be here oh oh)
So unexpectedly (so unexpectedly oh oh)
Undeniably happy (hey)
Said with you right here, right here next to me (oh)
Boy you’re the…
You’re the best thing I never knew I needed (said I needed oh oh)
So when you were here I had no idea
You’re the best thing I never knew I needed (needed oh)
So now it’s so clear I need you here always
Baby baby
Now it’s so clear I need you here always

Monday, November 2, 2009

"Try and fail, but don't fail to try."

Friday, October 30, 2009

My pick for the night

"I'm sitting here alone up in my room,
And thinking about the times that we've been through (oh my love)
I'm looking at a picture in my hand,
Trying my best to understand,
I really want to know what we did wrong,
With a love that felt so strong,
If only you were here tonight,
I know that we could make it right.

I don't know how to live without your love,
I was born to make you happy,
'Cause you're the only one within my heart,
I was born to make you happy,
Always and forever you and me,
That's the way our life should be,
I don't know how to live without your love,
I was born to make you happy.

I know I've been a fool since you've been gone,
I'd better give it up and carry on (oh my love)
'Cause living in a dream of you and me,
Is not the way my life should be,
I don't want to cry a tear for you,
So forgive me if i do,
If only you were here tonight,
I know that we could make it right."

Heard this song on the radio... Love Britney back when she's younger. Good night everyone. Sleep tight and sweet dreams.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

What's in my red book?

I know I'm not a very productive employee today. All i did so far was surf and surf and surf i might have reach the middle of the ocean by the looks of it. I sure did some of the work needed to be done urgently but apart from that, i didn't make the effort of trying to learn or master anything in my free time. I just don't have it in me. Excuse. I know. Darn it.

I opened my small red book to jot a new word for the day and i saw that on the final pages of the book were a few short notes that I've jot down before. It must be from one of those days that ideas came rushing into my mind and i just have to write it down so that i won't forget it but sadly, i never get around to use it for an article. A bit of a lick and a promise. It's kind of brilliant tho, the ideas of course and i wonder what was i thinking then? It's something to do about family relation, abundance love, gratitude and personal belief. Whoa~ I amaze myself sometimes.

Now I'm eating a piece of butter cake with teensy-weensy raisins on it. :)

Russian Roulette vs Crawl


Take a breath, take it deep,
Calm yourself, he says to me,
If you play, you play for keeps,
Take a gun, and count to three,
I'm sweating now, moving slow,
No time to think, my turn to go.

And you can see my heart beating,
You can see it through my chest,
And I'm terrified but I'm not leaving,
Know that i must pass this test,
So just pull the trigger.

Say a prayer to yourself,
He says close your eyes,
Sometimes it helps,
And then i get a scary thought,
That he's here means he's never lost.

As my life flashes before my eyes,
I'm wondering will i ever see another sunrise?
So many won't get the chance to say goodbye,
But it's too late to pick up the value of my life.



Everybody sees it's you,
I'm the one that lost the view,
Everybody says we're through,
I hope you haven't said it too.

So where,
Do we go from here,
With all this fear in our eyes,
And where,
Can love take us now,
We've been so far down,
We can still touch the sky.

If we crawl,
Till we can walk again,
Then we'll run,
Until we're strong enough to jump.
Then we'll fly,
Until there is no wind,
So lets crawl, crawl, crawl,
Back to love, Yeah
Back to love, Yeah.

Why did i change the pace,
Hearts were never meant to race,
I always felt the need for space,
But now i can't reach your face,
So where,
Are you standing now,
Are you in the crowd of my vouch,
Love, can you see my hand?
I need one more chance,
We can still have it all.

Everybody see's it's you,
Well i never wanna lose that view.


Both says it through their music. Whether it's just a try to get back to the fan on Chris's side, or RiRi trying to channel her feelings on coping up, i would not know but if i were to vote, hmmmm...both songs are catchy and i like it but maybe i tend to choose Russian Roulette over Crawl. ;)

Btw, notice how the title of the songs is the same as their initials? And to dramatize the Russian Roulette, there's this sound of after-crying-breathing (pardon my silly words here. My vocab is not always functioning. How do you translate teresak-esak in English anyway?)and a shoot at the end of the sure makes the song interesting but one can't help wondering.....well i guess i'll let you connect the dots here. [eerie sound playing in the background~muahaha]

On Crawl tho, i kind of like the lyrics and of course Chris's vocal is great as usual. :D

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

What my tea bag tells me

As a very avid tea lover, i would love it more if this is how my tea bag looks like. Each bag with different words of wisdom printed on their tiny piece of paper dangling over the cup. How much more perfect it could be, other than sipping a nice hot tea while thinking over those proverbs and looking forward to the next different one i get for tomorrow's tea break.

hmm...very nice indeed.

This is us...

I'm like a sunday morning, you're like friday night
And when we kiss, the perfect weekend -no rain in sight
When i'm feeling incomplete, you're my missing piece
And when you need your breathe taken away i'll be your thief

From the start to the end
We don't need to pretend
That we're perfect all the time
'cause we know what we have
Thru the good the bad
It's a strength that you can't deny...

I don't need to find a million reasons why
This is us, this is us, this is how we love
Some ways we're different
But together we're so right
This is us, this is us
And this is how we love

And even if we fall apart, we'll never feel alone
Just like the moon starts rising, our hearts bring us home
We can always find each other like the northern star
Doesn't matter where we are, i'm looking, going far

From the start to the end
We don't need to pretend
That we're perfect all the time
'cause we know what we have
Thru the good the bad
It's a strength that you can't deny...

I don't need to find a million reasons why
This is us, this is us, this is how we love
Some ways we're different
But together we're so right
This is us, this is us
And that's the way we love

We don't always see eye to eye
You must see a million colours
I just see it black and white
(ain't no way we could get much higher)
'cause when we touch it feels like fire
We both know how good this feels
Yes we do... baby... because...

This is you
This is me
This is us

I don't need to find a million reasons why
This is us, this is us, this is how we love
Some ways we're different
But together we're so right
This is us, this is us
And this is how we love

This Is Us - Keyshia Cole

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

hmmm..... :)

Monday, October 5, 2009

cengeng?...for a reason.

People who are close to me will know that i am probably one of the most sensitive person in this world.

When someone scratched my car as if it's their new drawing paper last time, i didn't shed a single tear. Not even when i lost something, no matter how important it is.

Back in primary school, i didn't really have much money to spend over food and after that i was constantly worrying whenever it's time for a holiday at boarding school because i could not afford the ferry fee to come back... and i never cried at that too. Well maybe sometimes when i was so worried i could not make it but thanks to my strong and great mom, we always seem to get through that.

But i can't control my tears from flowing when someone close to me hurt my feelings. ones...

I was always the first one to cry when mom got mad at me and my sister back when we were kids (sepa suruh jajal). Even now when mom and my sist were quarelling and yelling at each other terribly, it's me who cries first.

I don't know why i'm doing this, but i never want to let people be able to hurt me like that again.

Friday, September 25, 2009

October Rain

....of movies.

Movie date anyone? It's Sandra Bullock & Bradley Cooper. You would not want to miss it. :)

Zooey is the girl Allison, from the movie Yes Man. Very cute. And Gordon-Levitt? Double cute. He got this Heath Ledger-ish kind of face and yes, very talented.

Again, Bradley Cooper. [drool~]
I have already watched this like months ago on a downloaded version from the internet. And i think i am going to go watch it again because damn~ this movie is so cool (at least to me) and so fucked-up i was literally open-mouthed in astonishment last time.

I don't have to say much really. It's Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfried. Of course i'll be there.

Apart from the book being an international bestseller so the story line is sure a good one, Eric Bana is in it and on something totally off the point, the heroine is named Clare. So i really should be there right? [you can puke now]

So that's October for me. How about you? ;)

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

16 Sept

Mom called last night.

"Esok kamu pun cuti ka?"
"Aah? Nda la."
"Ai. Bukan Hari Malaysia ka esok? Sabah saja cuti ka? Jadi tu Penang bukan Malaysia?"
"Ntah la mami, bukan Malaysia la kali sini ni. Buduh kan. Biar la."

That was what our conversation was about. So i guess, nobody in Peninsular cares about the formation of Malaysia on 16 Sept. Pffftt. How about next year, on 16 Sept Sabah pull out of Malaysia and this particular day will still always be a public holiday but for more meaningful reason.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Sweet Dreams

Somebody gotta pinch me coz i ain't goin' to stop listening to this song. [wink wink]

Friday, September 4, 2009

What Not

There's a lot of common foundation in a relationship that we always have to look into so that we can be certain of a positive growth with our partner but right now i can only comes up with these two things. Just my two cents on Friday evening.

Acceptance & Forgiveness

It's not about 'it's your fault', but 'I'm sorry'. Not 'where are you', but 'I'm right here'. Not 'how could you', but 'i understand'. Not 'i wish you were', but 'I'm thankful you are'.

In any relationship, you should always keep in mind to balance whatever things going on between you and your partner.

If your other half did something bad and genuinely says that he/she's sorry after that. Forgive him/her. Everyone make mistakes. At that time, it may be his/her wrong judgment, but be sure that you'll have your turn too in the future. Nobody's perfect. A fight or any mistake should be deal with mutual understanding on both party. It's funny how we can say that friendship or job's mistake can makes us stronger and good but when it comes to love, it's merely the other person's fault and that you were hurt.

There are times when even if you think that your partner maybe the sole cause of a fight or a mistake, be with him/her and bear the blame together. Help to ease the guilt they are feeling inside. In one way or another, i always believe that it's never a one person mistakes but it happens because both of you are allowing it to. Take your share on the problem. Pointing fingers should never be done and the last thing you want is to take revenge and in returns makes your partner feels just how much it hurt you or just how bad he/she was. Trust me, he/she will feel resentment towards you in future.

Sharing & Understanding

We decide to be in a relationship because we want someone other than ourselves. We were alone before that so basically we did all the things alone. We are capable of doing that.

So when it comes to an opinion, he/she should not be telling you that you have to get up on your ass and deal with everything on your own. To be in control or something more classic - to get hold of your own happiness. To be in a relationship is to share. To rely on each other shoulder if things get tough. If all you can tell your partner is go and be independent, then why in the hell did you agree to be with her/him in the relationship at the first place? I don't mean that you have to be totally dependent on your partner because that's a big no for me but at least when the problem is beyond him/her control physically or emotionally, you should be there. And when she/he actually comes up and meekly say that she/he doesn't know what to do, the last thing you should ever say is to ask back - what do we do now? If she/he knows that, she/he would not be asking you at the first place. If you don't know what to say, make up of something good to say..or just listen and hug him/her to let them know that everything will be alright. Even if it's not.

I'm not an expert but i was just sharing what i think are the right thing at least for me to do in every similar situation. Talk is cheap i know, but at least you try. Sometimes silence is even more damaging than saying it out loud. It's all a matter of a good timing.

As for my own relationship now... :) i'll keep that private but if you need to know, then i'll tell you this, i'm perfectly happy and that every difficulties are just a test of what we learn from each other and to see if we really understand it. It's just like learning things in school really. The relationship is the school. And those two person in it are both the teacher and the student taking turns... it's a give and take.

That's all i can think of right now... I'll jot in a more complete ending and substance when i have proper ideas in my head. So for now, that's it. [he he he]

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Who Am I To Say

Now that it come to this, there's really nothing i can do.

I tried. But it's never enough.
So i won't say a thing anymore.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

A new handbag? Absolutely!

29th August 2009

Boarded a flight to KL. Sitting in between an old man and a young lady. Both wearing a face mask. Searched a mask for myself inside the bag but then i realized that i never actually buy one. Arrive in KL, met Alex waiting at KL Central.

Looking around for a cheap-but-nice inn or motel around Bukit Bintang to stay in for the night. Plenty around but finally choose the Bintang Garden Hotel. Went to Mid Valley for lunch while waiting for Lina to arrive from Labuan.

Lina reached KL Central hours later. Took Lina out for lunch (had a second round lunch!) and the not-so-window shopping started after that. Saw so many items and yet so limited time makes me and Lina a wee bit anxious on tossing up between scarfs, smocked waist surplice dress and shorts. Sungei Wang Plaza to Low Yatt Plaza to BB Plaza to Lot 10 to Times Square.

Colin joined us on later. A 3rd round lunch for me and Alex. Whoa~!
Took note that a belly bloated with food is not a very great idea of going hunting for items on sale. Colin and Alex keeps on mentioning the marriage topic over foods. Keep badgering me and Lina as to when we will be getting hitch. Makes me wonder who's the women around there. Me and Lina has long agreed with the idea on not rushing up marriage until we both ready/find our own Mr Really Right. We even contemplated on getting babies on our own without going down the isle. Why? 'cause we sometimes feel that people makes it so complicated just to get married. May as well opt for single decision.

Went on to Laundry Bar at The Curve later that night. Me and Lina had such great time checking on girls and a few men. Don't get me wrong. We simply appreciate great beauty and styles. [wink wink]

30th August 2009

Woke up around 10am and went for a quick not-so-window shopping again before checking out at 12pm and started the journey from Kl Central to LCCT and finally to Penang.

Reached Penang around 4pm and then went straight to Queensbay for another shopping before going to Kayu Nasi Kandar to have Lina first ever Penang nasi kandar after almost 2 years. KC and Lina met for the first time. She likes him and sort of gave me her blessings. [ha ha ha]

Went to Jewin, Wel and Joel's house after that to drink up the Chivas Lina bought from Labuan. Henry and Frankie were already there. The guys consider 1 Liter of Chivas as a nice warm up and we continue for bottles and bottles of beer at Kafe Dusun. It was a really nice session with us catching up and telling stories of our all time favourite childhood games (main biji getah, 'polisentep', kurutut and so on). We later found out that Jewin was the best tree climber among us all as a kid. Siapa paling banyak luka sama dahan paling tinggi dan paling kurus dia dapat naik adalah kriteria pemenang.

That's how we celebrate the countdown of merdeka for Malaya this year and all of us headed home around 4am in the morning.

31st August 2009

Jewin treated Lina and I to a delicious lunch at Victoria Station (Jewin sampai mengantuk-ngantuk mo kasi habis stik kerana suasana sungguh semintel dia cakap :D). The sizes of the steaks were enormous we took more than an hour to finish our meal.

After parting with good bye words to Jewin who's returning to Johor that night, we made our way to Prangin Mall for another round of shopping. Again, shopping with a stomach so full and stuffed was not really a good idea but for the love of skirts and dresses, we still manage to cover Ground Floor up till 3rd floor of the shopping complex. This time, Frankie was with us so while he's looking into a pair of new Levis's jeans, i took my time resting my legs.

Later on that night, we went to Batu Feringghi and bought a few stuff at the long and endless night market stalls. After half way of strolling along the row of stalls, we decided to call it a day. I suggested that Lina should have her much craved Lok Lok so we stopped by Gurney Drive and ate as much as we possibly can and after that go 'melepak' and chit chat for a while at the Gurney Drive. It was around 11.00pm when we decided to head back home respectively.

Needless to say, it's quite a tiring trip with painful foot and aching back not to mention being dehydrated but it was really worth it. :) I really had a good time! Tho, I didn't buy any new handbag as per post title~ [giggle]

I hope you had an awesome merdeka holiday as well. :)

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Pixie Lott

My latest addiction.

I can't quite describe the feeling when i'm obsessed over a particular song or tune. It's like falling in love all over again. Can you imagine that? Just like how i would want to see the person i'm in love 24/7, i would want to listen to the song every minute & every second whenever i can. Lina, my best friend+ex-roommate+ex-coursemate+ex-schoolmate+ex-basketballmate+ex-navymate can testify to that. I honestly think that she's secretly complaining and given the chance, she would have toss my pc's speaker out back then.

If you are wondering about the effects of such songs to me, try listening to these favorite artist of mine...and you know you have fall for it when there's a surge of warm feeling inside your heart. ;)

Love her.

The magical and enchanting voice...singing through beautiful words put together in a lyric...and the melody completes the whole tune and making it the perfect love potion for me.

Main influence.

I can still remember when Norah Jones first made her debut in the music industry. She sound so unique and different, i could not really decide whether to like her songs or not. Then i found one particular song of her that change my life forever. What Am I To You. From that moment on, i was officially her loyal fan for life.

My sweet song.

From the movie P/S I Love You, that's how Toby's voice caught my attention & lucky me, i discover another voice that can easily swept me off my feet.

Bitter sweet taste.

I was driving back from work one evening when Zee's single, Bitter Heart played on air and i actually waited till the song finished before i went out from my car. Needless to say, i straightly went looking for the songs on the net and it was a full whole week of same track lists on my winamp.

Through stormy weather.

Now that i'm posting this, i am once again reminded of the movie that kind of change my life and help me see life through a more positive and beautiful way. It made me want to explore myself and see the hidden or the obvious potential that lies beneath waiting to be discovered and realized. And i know i can always count on Lucy and The Women whenever i'm in need of daily motivation.

Always my favorite.

I'm not sure if Pink is in the right group but i just can't leave her out of this. Right from her first single to her latest album, let just simply say, i love it all. And it's an open secret that i fancy her voice very much, i wish i can sound exactly like her. She practically rock and spin my world turning it absolutely upside down and makes me so overwhelmed i can't find the right words to correctly decribe her awesomeness!

Thinking about how music really play a big influence on me, i really should do something about it. For now, let me see how i can turn that thought into action & anything, i hope i can post something about it in future. Shush...i can't really discuss about it. It'll jinx the whole idea.

Till then, be merry & be good. :)

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

On this Day

"So... On this Day Out of Time:
Who can you forgive today?
And what would you like to be forgiven for?" - Jason Mraz on his FB notes

I want am going to forgive my colleague sitting next to me for being such a pain in the ass this morning. And i would like to be forgiven for any bad feelings you may have towards me right now.

So we're cool right? :)

Monday, August 10, 2009



If you ever feel alone in this world, then we are all together in that too.


Friday, August 7, 2009

Thank God It's Friday?

I woke up at 10am this morning then took a shower and sat down in front of the pc browsing through facebook. Made myself a cup of coffee and an instant maggie goreng for breakfast. I was halfway through My Start-Up Life pages when i got the call from the WAO or the WCC which stands for Women's Centre for Change in Penang about the email i sent them two days ago.

No. I'm not being abused or anything. Come to think of it. I am infact being abused. Emotionally.

It's just that i'm looking for other option beside the police report that i made against the physco guy that have been harrasing me emotionally all these years. It's a great relief actually. Ms Annie, the lady that took care of my case advice me to go and follow up the police report i made last year & to feedback to them the necessary actions that the police promise after that.

Talking to a woman in charge, is a nice change cause she understand how i feel when i told her that i'm worried that the police will not take me seriously & about the they-think-it's-funny remarks they said at me at the police station. Imagine being in a room full of policemen & i have to repeat the story over and over again every time a new police comes in and dreaded the words that may comes out from their mouth. Words like 'ala....lelaki ni mesti suka kat u punya.' 'ooo....cerita lama la ni.' And then go senyum2 looking at me. Damn it's taking all of my self control not to scream words back at them.

My second 'visit' to the police this afternoon did not really went well initially. The same look and remarks was being said and malas mo go through that bikin sakit hati. Luckily one officer, maybe their chief at that station took over & talk things through with me. At least he offer some logic explanation of why they can not really do anything if there's no physical offense & at least he did some silent moment thinking hard of ways to tackle the problem & offer solution after solution that i can agree upon.

Bukan macam satu polis tu, 'ala..u dah kawin belum? haa...kalau u kawin mesti dia tak kacau dah lepas ni.' I was like, wtf.suruh org kawin pula cara dia mo suru la btl2.

Now i only have to wait for just another 'hide and seek' with the weirdo & he can play 'police and thief' with the police.

On different story tho, i had my lunch in one of the shops nearby the housing area before making my way to the police station. I took white rice & the steamed ikan bawal and that cost me RM6. I don't know about you but i still feel that's expensive! Maybe i was getting so used to cooking at home & that home made steamed ikan bawal won't cost me that much so i was quite suprise that satu ekor ikan can cost me around RM5. Ridiculous. Reminds me of one article that made a sarcastic remarks on how fish seems to be the makanan orang kaya instead of chicken in a country such as ours. I actually called my mom about it and she laugh saying that in Sabah, that meal would have cost me around RM10. Now that would have me want to open my own rice+steamed ikan bawal shop & sell it for RM3 just like any other fish! Something as essential as food is not supposed to be expensive! Now go vote for me to be the menteri makanan.

Then i spent my remaining day cleaning up the house & putting up the curtain at the front door. Now you can't see me through the see through sliding door anymore. And the living room look much nicer. :) After that i tried my hands at menebas/mencabut rumput at the small lawn area but stopped when i realized that it will not look very nice if all the grass and weeds are gone. I wonder where are all the tukang rumput these days.

It's been a long day. 10.32pm now. Should i go to sleep? or go for a beer? or go out and about? Hmm...

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

The Ugly Truth

Gerard Butler.

He really does get mentioned more than any other actor in this blog. Lucky him. The Ugly Truth will only be shown in Malaysia on September this year, that's about a month more to wait.

I literally fell in love with him in 300 & from that moment on, everything-he-touched-turned-to-gold kind of experience for me whenever he's a cast in a movie. You should really watch him in 300, P/S I Love You, Nim's Island, Lara Croft and so on. His Scottish accent and the sexy vibe, not to forget that when he opens his mouth and sing, everything melts. [grin]

Men and their effect on me. sigh~ [still grinning]

Monday, August 3, 2009

Just Rambling

Not everything you plan goes on smoothly. That's why the advice is to always have a plan B or something of the sort.

There must be a reason why some things happen. Or maybe that's just our way of reasoning or just excuses for things that did not go as we intended it to.

Or maybe it was just bad judgement. How are we suppose to know what's coming right?

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

This Is Just To Say

It's been 3 days since Yasmin Ahmad passed away.

I was staring at her blog link the whole day and it feels weird to never see that link updated again. Her writings, movies & commercials never failed to amuse and entertain me and it's such a great loss that she has gone too soon at the age of 51.

Why is it that so many great people died this year! Sigh~

I remember that i have asked her permission to re-post a poem in one of her posting last time but i never get around to post it here. Now i leave you with this simple yet very cheeky poem and hope that it brings smile to you just like it did to me. Rest in peace Kak Yasmin.

I have eaten
the plums
that were in the icebox

and which
you were probably
for breakfast.

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold.

William Carlos Williams - This Is Just To Say

The Sweets & The Marbles

Just another one of those forwarded email story. :)

A boy and a girl were playing together. The boy had a collection of marbles. The girl had some sweets with her. The boy told the girl that he will give her all his marbles in exchange for her sweets. The girl agreed.

The boy kept the biggest and the most beautiful marble aside and gave the rest to the girl. The girl gave him all her sweets as she had promised. That night, the girl slept peacefully.. But the boy could not sleep as he kept wondering if the girl had hidden some sweets from him the way he had hidden his best marble.

Moral of the story: If you don't give hundred percent in a relationship, you'll always keep doubting if the other person has given his/her hundred percent. Give your hundred percent to everything you do and sleep peacefully... ;)

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Up To No Good

I'm losing my mind.
What am i doing? Stop it you silly. Dammit.
Now that i hinted on it, things won't just go away like that.
What am i thinking!

5.41PM - The call was literally my damn farking first time ever hearing the voice & talk things together. I actually had quite a normal conversation. I actually laugh. I mean like really laugh. And i make jokes. yes. jokes. to a sort-of-complicated-stranger. Mom's gonna be pissed at me i guess. dammit. I don't even want to do that actually. This is not how i picture it to happen. I always have a vision of finally meeting up maybe at a place close to a death-bed or something. geez. Now i'm confuse. I got mix feelings and i'm not sure whether to hate it or like it or what.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Start of Something New

Everything change. And so does my blog layout. :)

Now, let me bore you with the early history of this blog first. On 13 July last year, i created this blog with the help of a very generous man, Wel. Thanks to him, i get to start blogging and make a proper presentation of the many ideas i have which always exhaust my friends in chats or in emails.

"Claire, pigi la kau buat blog."
"Buli jadi entry blog suda reply kau ni tau."

That was what my friends always told me back then because i tend to reply mails or chats with long and long sentences - sometimes a few paragraphs. And that's what prompt me to agree when Wel offered to set up this blog & help me with the technical stuff (template & all).

Today, i decide to change a bit of here and there, just to make a fresh start & motivate myself to blog more & to do what i love most. Rambling.

So, tadaa~ my new layout which i did it myself this time. ;) buli-buli tahan sja cantik la.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Dammit. I'm so nervous and excited to wait to go watch Harry Potter: The Half Blood Prince tonight. 8.45pm, Gurney Plaza. I hope i can be there in time. Please please please whoever up there in turn for watching the road tonight, make it clear and the traffic light go all green whenever i pass.

I've already know the story by heart but the feeling of going to see the imagination turn to real picture is so exhilarating i'm a bit worried if it's going to set me in a high expectation which often makes me harder to please. But no matter... I'll take some of the Felix Felicis in hope of a good luck tonight. I think i brew it alright. Six month, yes?

Happy watching. :)

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Catching Up

So far, i didn't see the physco around lurking behind the bushes anymore. ;) Thank God for that.

My sort of self-appointed brother Yie is in town today so we had lunch together & talk about many things & catching up with each other. He's working in KHell so we only get to meet up every once or twice a year. It feels good to sit down and tells stories about our own life so far & what both of us are up to. He's still into Volleyball these days, as to how we met in the first place and i envy him for that. Volleyball is one of my favourite sports & i could not remember the last time i played that game. Last 2 years maybe? sigh~

While i was trying to sleep & endure the headache due to flu last night, my friend Stella told me that his sister, Mellisa who happen to be one of my best friend since secondary school is going to Penang today. She'll be staying here for a week! Now i'm going to have another catching up to do. Mellisa is currently studying medic in Russia & only be going back to Malaysia every once or twice a year. The last time she's in Penang, we went to get our toes eaten (or bitten) by small fishes in one of the fish spa in New World Park. That experience... punya geli geleman. We promise to meet up tomorrow & i'm so looking forward to see her.

My nose are red & swollen & i'm holding a tissues in one hand & typing using the other hand. And outside...strong wind & heavy drops of rain indicate that i should take a nap now.

Going to watch a theatre later tonight. Dusta Pada Skala 1 hingga 10. Will be crapping again here after the weekend is over. Till then, adios.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009


This is going to be a final warning to you bastard.


Maybe you need a reminder? I still got the copy of the first police report against you. For your information, the police told me then that if you ever harras me like this again, i only have to let them know and they will take further action. I can't imagine why would you think that i'm not serious about this even after the police report. You must be really ill & mentally disturbed.

Seriously, this is really affecting me in the most terrible way possible. If you don't know the feeling, try imagining a physco person following you everyday, trying to get close to you & hiding in places where you can't spot them & all of a sudden they are already tailing you when you almost reach your home.

This has been going on for far too long & i really can't stand it anymore. I'm not ready to lose my mind yet. I know the bastard do read this blog so i'm directing this to YOU now so YOU better get this straight.


And to those people who think that this simply amuse them & even make jokes out of it. You better keep your mouth shut. Maybe if it's your own sister or someone you love experience something like this then you'll understand.


Be Warned!


Monday, June 29, 2009

Zee Avi - Bitter Heart

Sun rays come down as seen when they hit the ground,
Children spinning around till they fall down down down.
I wait for you: it's been two hours now,
You're still somewhere in town,
Your dinners getting cold.
I rest my case you are always this late,
And you know how much I hate waiting around 'round 'round,
Bitter heart, bitter heart tries to keep it all inside,
Bitter heart, bitter heart shadows will help you try to hide,
Bitter heart, my bitter heart is gettin' just a little fragile,
Bitter heart, bitter heart of mine.
And then you come and tell me the same reason as you did yesterday,
So tell me whats her name.
Doo doo da dum, doo doo da dum, doo doo doo doo doo doo da da dum dum, da da da da dum, da da da da dum, da da da da dum.
Bitter heart, bitter heart tries to keep it all inside
Bitter heart, bitter heart shadows will help you try to hide,
Bitter heart, my bitter heart is just getting a little fragile,
Bitter heart, bitter heart of mine, of mine, of mine, of mine, of mine, of mine.

I love it. So very much.

Friday, June 26, 2009


I know. I know. It's just so sad. Damn. :(

I'm one of those million fans of Michael Jackson and the news of his death is so unbelieavable that i keep asking myself & around whether it's true or not. Regardless of all the freaky & weird rumors & allegations about him that had happen before, he's undeniably one of the greatest pop star of all time. All i care about is his music & contribution to the industry, never mind his personal life.

You can by now read many epitaph & heard marathon back to back of MJ hits being played around. Like what Daniel wrote in his blog, I also wish i can make one hell of a post to dedicate to MJ as a mark of respect. But i guess i just have to let the expert do their job on that. So all that is left for me to say is, may your soul rest in peace MJ. I'll be your greatest fan, in my own way, forever.

And I will also always remember waking up from sleep today and the first thing i heard was that Michael Jackson died. :(

"He was perhaps the most exciting performer of his generation, known for his backward-gliding moonwalk, his feverish, crotch-grabbing dance moves and his high-pitched singing, punctuated with squeals and titters. His single sequined glove, tight, military-style jacket and aviator sunglasses were trademarks, as was his ever-changing, surgically altered appearance.

Billboard magazine editorial director Bill Werde said Jackson's star power was unmatched. "The world just lost the biggest pop star in history, no matter how you cut it," Werde said. "He's literally the king of pop. Jackson ranked alongside Elvis Presley and the Beatles as the biggest pop sensations of all time. - Yahoo news.

I'll leave you all with this clip as a tribute to MJ...enjoy.

Monday, June 22, 2009


So, it's been half a year.

A few days before, i saw Alex's shout out in facebook "it's half year of 2009, reflection...reflection" and i could not help from wanting to reflect my own life, days & moments so far.

On January this year, i was so eager to list down my new year resolution & i could not wait to see if i can make it or not. I believe i have set out quite a resonable lists & i did not doubt that it's achieveable, at least some of it.

Come to think of it now, i have actually make a numbers of points on that lists materialize. I have lost a few pounds (maybe), i have not been into extravagant shopping & i have buy & read more books compare to last year (only that i've been less at home these days) and to put more laugh, love & smile to my life have not been that hard to do as i am currently indulging in a new & fresh relationship. Well, there's been the usual it-hurt-and-i'm-confuse situation but i guess that's basically mean i'm living a life so it's not so much of a problem right now. ;)

The only thing that keep sneaking into my mind is the need to be sure of what i want in my life and those sort of things. I'm dealing with this right now and i hope eventually, it will all be clear. It better be. I'm kind of burnt-out with all the things & stuff in my head.

"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself." - George Bernard Shaw

Thursday, June 18, 2009

I was so pissed off yesterday.

I was sad & blue last night.

I was restless this morning.

I felt empty after that.

I was so worried an hour ago.

Now I'm annoyed.

Damn it.

Nothing really...

Every situation has a way of repeating itself. Sometimes it comes with a mask and we don't realize what's happening until you begin to feel the old familiar feelings. Déjà vu.

It's up to you to decide what you want to do about it. To embrace the fact that's all you may get from life itself, or look the other way around & hope something else may happen if you wait long enough.

Everyone have different priority, focus & expectation in life.

Some would want to stay & see whether they can make it to the end, so they make it clear & know exactly what they want.

And some would linger around & do not commit, so what may or may not happen in the end, they can decide to want it to effect them or not.

The question is, did you interpret the meaning of every situation correctly & make your due diligence whether it is as it is before or not?

Monday, June 15, 2009

Types of Men That Women Should AVOID Dating!

#1 - A man who says I LOVE YOU too soon

In a word, needy and kind of creepy. It's really impossible to truly love someone until you've spent a lot of time with them. Lust is instant. So while I lust you is okay, I love you starts a ball rolling that you can't stop. Relationships take time, save the "L" word for when you are ready to take the next step.

#2 - A man who is in a current relationship or marriage
Girls, don't bank on the fact that he will leave his wife or girlfriend for us. Sometimes, he just wants to have the best of both worlds. After all, it's not a good idea to be someone's third party too.

#3 - A man who thinks he is so much more better than you or anyone else

Have you met him? He's all about feeling superior. Nobody is good enough for him. He has a laser sharp tongue and can shred anything in sight until it lies in tatters in front of him.

Even if he has elite education and a well-paid job, it does not mean he is always right! Dump him if he treats you condescendingly every time. You are entitled to your own opinions and decisions. After spending enough time with this guy, you will grow to despise the human race as he does, and crawl around feeling unworthy. Throw him away like you would a mold-filled potato :-D

#4 - A man who is super stingy or super calculative or the cheapskate
Girlfriends, we don’t have to be labeled a “gold digger” to recognize the difference between a man who’s frugal and one who’s downright miserly. We know the type: he brings coupons to the first date or parks 17 blocks away to avoid paying a $4 valet (or both). Ah yes, this “avoidable” is known as the cheapskate. Now, there is nothing wrong with a guy shopping for the best deal and being conservative with his money. However, if every activity is all about finding the stingiest alternative, nothing is ever fun. Repeatedly counting change, stealing food from work and rationing toilet paper may seem quirky or sweet at first, but this behavior is indicative of future headaches. When it comes down to it, this guy has control issues.

#5 - A man who seems exceptionally busy
You can't get hold of him, even by phone. He is not available most of the time. Whenever you call, he says he will call back. It is sufficient to believe that this man is either not very interested in you or he is seeing someone else. So go find someone else too, girl!

#6 - A man Who refuses to grow up

Dude, get a job and move out whatever it takes. Don't be a loser. Even if she can sleep over, she will grow tired of your lack of independence, motivation, and ambition. She would rather have champagne on the beach then dinner with your folks.

#7 - Men who are CRUEL
There is nothing in the world as ugly or as damaging as a cruel man. For some reason, there are men out there who take only joy in seeing someone in pain (I don't mean like in a dull headache kind of pain - I mean like a big kick in the nuts pain).

People say that it's a power thing, but I know it's a sickness thing. It's sick to be us if we are with someone like him.

Don't be distracted by the sexy grin or the bulging pecs (or bulging other stuff) on the outside. Look at the inside. Fire is beautiful but it hurts when you get burned. Stay away from these creeps as if your life depended on it, as it surely does.

#8 - A man who loves sports way too much
There's a fine line between a great guy who loves sports and the raging maniac that loves sports way too much. How can you love sports TOO much? men would ask in befuddlement. For most women, it's obvious. A guy loves sport too much when they would rather watch a game than spend time with us.

I realize that ALL men fall into this category after several months of knowing us, but they will occasionally submit their whipped butts to taking us out, just to stop our fussing. But the sport fanatic won't care that the house is falling apart, that the baby is crying or that we haven't been out of the house in 4 months. All he'll want is a beer, a TV and "some peace". They are hard to tell apart from the normal healthy male but look out for the signs of obsession, or we'll be stuck watching every lame game the sports channel has to offer and feeding his burping buddies as our friends go out to dinner and to see the hottest new movie every weekend.

#9 - The roving eye guy
This guy is constantly looking at every female but the one he’s with. He ogles the barista, the woman at the bus stop, even his buddy’s wife, making his date feel inferior and unattractive. Most of us will agree that men are inclined to admire beautiful women (and vice versa) but let’s face it: Recognizing beauty and disrespectfully rubbernecking are two completely different things. Constantly competing for your partner’s attention gets old really fast. If a man’s smarmy smile, inappropriate comments/gestures and keen interest in others are too distracting to the relationship, women pick up and move along. Even the most confident women want their men to treat them like they are the only one in the room.

#10 - A negative guy
We know the type; for him nothing we do is good enough. We're too stupid, we're too fat, we're too mouthy. Avoid negative guy who can find everything wrong with everyone and everything that means something to you in your life. Send Mr. Negative packing if you see him coming your way. Don’t allow someone to delegate who is good and not good in your life.

#11 - A man who thinks only with their "sticks"
Well, as we well know, the streets to the courthouse are littered with broken marriages caused by men who think with their sticks and not their brains. They see something they want to poke and it does not matter if they have Halle Berry, Christy Brinkley or Pam Anderson, and their 2 kids, 3 dogs, and 4 fishes waiting at home. These men will do what they know they shouldn't do, go get the forbidden poke.

It does not matter that you are the hottest thing since freshly baked pie, a man like this is going to give you a few diseases and mess up publicly right when you are being voted "Happiest Couple" at the Lodge. You know he's the type to cheat as that's how you got him from his first wife. Know that you got a weasel in your arms, and throw him away before he puts you on the front pages of the daily newspaper for murder.

#12 - A man who can't stop talking about his ex
GENTLEMEN, it's boring, it's unromantic, it shows you are not over your last relationship. Nothing is more of a turn off than your past love experiences gone bad. Save the war stories for your buddies at the bar and show your new date that you are interested in her.

#13 - The man who is never proud of our accomplishments
Do not allow someone who does not support us and our hard work hurt us. Girlfriends, we deserve to have someone who is proud of our accomplishments and wants to support us :-)

#14 - A man who keeps in touch with all his Ex's
Again, gentlemen.. :) Dump the ex's as friends if you want a new relationship. It's a total turn off and shows you may have some separation anxiety by needing to surround yourself with women you have slept with. Most woman won't put up with that scenario for long either.

P/S Thanks to Anna who post this on her Facebook notes. There are some of the points that catch my attention so i thought i'll share this with you. Of course i have my own turn-off-points but just in case i never get around to post that out, this would be my general idea of the types of men we girls should avoid, whenever possible. :)

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Powder Blue

Everyone deserve a second chance. It may come to us in a different way, all is up to us whether to realize it and act on it or not. Sometimes our hardship & sorrow cloud what's been offered to us & we decided to give up. Don't.

I have always love talks, books, songs & movies about challenges in our life & inspirational stories. The things that can motivate us to keep going is actually just a little reminder every now & then.

Among all the movies that i have watch, one of my favorite motivational stories which i can vividly remember until now would be the 'Pay It Forward' which i watch about 3 years ago. Today at the office, i saw one movie in my colleague's folder in title 'Powder Blue' & out of curiosity of the unusual title, i downloaded it. Now i have just finish watching it and i must say, i can jot it down in my favorite lists.

As in one of the caption of that movie 'Every Life Has A Breaking Point'. I hope i find mine.

On a lighter note though, one cannot miss the scene everybody loves in any movie. The nude scene. ;) But it's not the less clothing that really gets me (although Jessica Biel is one very hot-sexy b**h :D) but really on Jessica's dancing at the stripper stage especially the pole dance. Owh i love the sliding-up-side-down pole dance. My mouth was wide open half through it. I never knew she could move like that. ;)

So...all in all, i say go watch this movie & have a good time.
Nite peeps. :)

Monday, June 8, 2009

Girl1: "There should be a pill that you can take to make love go away."

Girl2: "Why would you wanna make love go away?
It's hard enough to find it in the first place."

Friday, June 5, 2009


I don't want to be a walking contradiction.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Beautiful Girl

I was walking into the hallway door for usual scanning routine this morning & someone catch up behind me & sing 'beautiful girl'.....from the movie 200 Pounds Beauty, a Korean movie. It was a nice way to start the day & i'm smiling from ear to ear. Not to the fact that the guy sang the song to me indicating that i'm beautiful but because of the small thing as such which can make me in a very good mood so early in the morning. :)

Up to my office & to my desk, i was humming the song in small voice. ;)

By the way, this is a nice & good movie actually. I cried watching it. syyyy.... :D
The sexy Kim Ah Jung has actually went under the knife of plastic surgery just like her role in the movie. No wonder she's so natural & very good in acting it out because she's really been there. People were criticizing, saying bad things to her about the whole plastic surgery thing.

But i don't care. I still love her because she's so talented & she actually can act & sing very well.

200 Pounds Beauty - Beautiful Girl - Kim Ah Joong

Thursday, May 28, 2009


Feelings are not supposed to be logical. It would only make you more confuse & lost.

A lot of people ask me about my decision on being single all this while. Even my boss at work asked me about it. He could not comprehend the idea of someone as gorgeous & attractive [overkill. i know.] like me do not have someone special for quite a long time. Well, not really that long actually.

I'm sure many people will agree with me that after so many failed attempt at creating a happily-ever-after relationship, the feelings about the whole thing would eventually become stagnant in a sense of giving it the lowest priority in life. Most of the time, life is not just about being in love with someone [except your family]. And it's not just because of a bad past relationship either. Something that did not work out like how you want it should not necessarily viewed as a mistake or a bad thing. Things just happen sometimes. Either people simply have a change of heart or it's time for the other person to take on a new chapter in his/her life.

At one point, accumulate mix-feelings & the experience one had over the whole love-crush-heart break-infatuation-lust-vulnerable-stupidity thing will somehow make the person so over it that all he/she want to do is sit back & let life & time take over & decide everything. When you are ready, then you will. There's no need to push it or go looking for the 'thing' like some treasure hunt you used to participate in school & ended up settling for second best. To make do with what you have. Something you think you want but does not really sure if it's something mutual.

That is why i look at every encounter & moments with someone as a gift & my turn of sharing. Whether you realize it or not, each and every people that we get to meet help shape our mind, heart & life no matter how short the shared time is.

So, try never to look at people around you with just tiny regards but rather as an individual that contribute to your chain of energy, existence & happiness, which most of the time we never realize first hand but true anyway.

Monday, May 25, 2009

I'll be back..

A self-important college freshman walking along the beach took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen resting on the steps why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation.

"You grew up in a different world, actually an almost primitive one" the student said loud enough for others to hear.

"The young people of today grew up with television, jet planes, space travel, man walking on the moon. We have nuclear energy, ships and cell phones, computers with light speed...and many more."

After a brief silence, the senior citizen responded as follows.

"You're right son. We didn't have those things when we were we invented them. Now, you arrogant little shit, what are you doing for the next generation?

The applause was amazing!

p/s been wanting to update more on many topics for quite some time but excuses always get in a way. I'll leave you with this great story for now & be sure to take a peek here some time soon...

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

The Perak Crisis Unfolds...

"Perak MIC chairman Datuk G. Rajoo said Nizar should get the mandate from the state assembly instead of seeking to dissolve the state assembly. Stating that the party with the support from the majority should rule, he said that a snap election would not benefit the state as more money would be spent." - The Star

What the fork! The party with the support from the majority should rule??? From which majority did he based on. No other than the 3 frogs who jumps i suppose. Just because they now have the majority of the seats does not mean that they got the majority of the VOTES from the people. These people who stick their brain on other people's ass really irritates me. He should seriously think of putting his brain back to his own ass. [haha..i'm pretty bad at this]

The only way of solving the Perak crisis once and for all is through a fresh election which will be determined by the rakyat. Never mind how much money would be spent. Who's money is it anyway? It's from the people & obviously not your money Mr Rajoo.

That's all i want to say. Need more fancy explanation & facts? Go read somewhere else. Berlambak.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

When All Is Said & Done

Here's to us, one more toast and then we'll pay the bill,
Deep inside, both of us can feel the autumn chill,
Birds of passage, you and me, we fly instinctively,
When the summer's over and the dark clouds hide the sun,
Neither you nor I'm to blame when all is said and done.

It's been there in my dreams, this scene I see unfold,
True at last, flesh and blood, to cherish and to hold,
Careless fools will suffer, yes, I know and I confess,
Once I lost my way when something good had just begun,
Lesson learned, it's history when all is said and done.

In our lives we have walked some strange and lonely treks,
Slightly worn but dignified and not too old for sex,
Clear-headed and open-eyed with nothing left untried,
Standing calmly at the crossroads, no desire to run,
There's no hurry any more when all is said and done.

Standing calmly at the crossroads, no desire to run,
There's no hurry any more when all is said and done.

When All Is Said & Done originally by ABBA covered by Pierce Brosnan & Meryl Streep in the MAMMA MIA musical play - one of my fav movie of all time. :)

The arrangement done for this song in the movie is really beautiful & the lyric is just meaningfully great. It would be wonderful to have reach this stage of life - there's no hurry anymore when all is said & done. :)

But i'm still young & i'll make sure to enjoy every minute of everyday that i have so that i can someday look at the path i've taken & indulge in the satisfaction of living a full life. We all have to remember that we're not 19, 25 or 40 forever. When you are 10 years old, do what 10 years old suppose to be doing. Run loose & don't be all grown up yet. The same when you're in the twenties [especially if you're still single..wink2] - use that hard earned money of yours & go sky diving. At least your body can still handle it & recover quickly than a 30 year old.

In a relationship, never be afraid of being vulnerable because if you're building walls around you to not getting hurt, you're also shielding yourself from being happy. Be in a state where you feel like there's nothing in life that you can't face anymore. And to do that is to open yourself to possibilities, risk & the unknown (i'm not a professional motivational speaker). ;)

As the famous quote says, "Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here we should dance."

God, if I can't have what I want, let me want what I have. Amen.

Friday, May 8, 2009


"someday everything will all make perfect sense, so for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears, and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason."

"let me analyse this..
(1) yes let him /her go if he /she don't love you
(2) yes let him /her go if that love cannot be translated into practical living
(3) don't let him/her go if the love is mutual
(4) and finally don't let him / her go if he or she is holding on to your hand hanging over a cliff" <---lol

Got this from fb comments about the idea of Letting Go. :)

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

The End Of Life As I Know It

G: A fella just has to tell a woman the truth without's like a signal you send out to the woman and she just picks it up.

H: And what's the truth?

G: that kissing her would be the end of life as I know it.

H: Well....and that's true of every girl you've gotten to kiss you?

G: I could turn it on and off when I was younger and had no principles...when every girl that I was lucky enough to kiss was the end of life as I knew it.

H: and now???

G: Now I only send it out when I think she might be the one that makes it true.

Guess which movie was that lines? I'm so much in love with Gerard Butler. ;)

She Believes In Me

While she lays sleeping
I stay out late at night and play my songs
And sometimes all the nights can be so long
And it's good when I finally make it home
All alone

While she lays dreaming
I touch her face across the silver light
I see her dreams that drift up to the sky
And she wakes up to my kiss
And I say it's alright
And I hold her tight

And she believes in me
I'll never know just what she sees in me
I told her someday
If she was my girl,
I could change the world
With my songs,
But I was wrong.

But she has faith in me
And so I go on trying faithfully
Forever in my heart she will remain
And I hope and pray,
I will find a way, find a way

While she lays waiting
I ask myself why do I hurt her so
What calls me on along this lonely road
Why don't I turn around and head back home
Where I belong

While she lays crying
Cause she knows how my heart is ripped in two
I'm torn between the things that I should do
She deserves it all and I'd give it if I could
God,her love is true.

Cause she believes in me
I'll never know just what she sees in me
I told her someday
If she was my girl,
I could change the world
With my songs,
But I was wrong.

But she has faith in me
And so I go on trying faithfully
Forever in my heart she will remain
And I hope and pray,
I will find a way, find a way

While she lays
While she lays for me

Ronan Keating - She Believes In Me

It's just a very nice song. :) Kenny Rogers did a very good job with it but i like listening to Ronan Keating. His soothing & very very romantic. [hehe]

Monday, May 4, 2009

You think i still care for a title now?

I'm so sick with the same old song that's been sung out for the past 6 years that i feel like killing people just for the fun of it.

My chest hurt so much i want to puke. I'm so frustrated i want to yell & get mad like a crazy bitch. Do any of you have any idea just how fucking hard it is to keep things to yourself & feeling helpless?

If i were there, i seriously think of slapping the sense out of her. She should be grateful i have not rule out the possibility of hating her forever. Because unlike some people, i think hatred only kill your inner self & left you to rot with bitterness in the end. But the way things are going on for so long till now, i may actually heading towards the pit of irreparable craziness & loathing.

Even falling in love with someone & listening to your favorite songs does not matter anymore. Who give you the right to feel so right when someone else is suffering anyway. When you think that no one can fault you for trying to live your life, think for a second of how long it will last before the dark clouds finally catching up.

If there's any evil out there wanting my soul in return for all this to stop, I will gladly sign the deal.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

My Sweet Song

My sweet song
It's been a long time
What'd you come around here for
Cause that old love is gone
And I've since carried on
Thought I was rid of you for sure
Oh my sweet song, you don't sound so
sweet no more

Please don't sing to me
Cause it hurts me to hear the melody that was
Good to me before
Oh my sweet song, you don't sound so
sweet no more

Oh you said love was forever and you told me
love would never
Break my heart, and I believed you as I fell
That's all over, let it go,
You're just a song I used to know
And your fantasy, it don't work for me
Go and pick on someone else

My sweet song
Guess I'm stuck with you
And someday, I'll find the love I'm looking for
Then my sweet, sweet song won't sound so
sad no more
My sweet, sweet song, I'll guess I'll always be yours

MySpace Playlist at

Toby Lightman – My Sweet Song (OST - P.S I Love You)