Sigh~
At least I'm feeling alright now.
I just feel the need to share with you one of my favorite quote today. I remember this while talking to my good friend earlier.
"If you doing ordinary things everyday, you will always be ordinary. If you want to be extraordinary, then start doing something extraordinary."
Hope that will keep you get start in anything you've been dreaming of. [smile]
Showing posts with label myself. Show all posts
Showing posts with label myself. Show all posts
Friday, February 17, 2012
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Once...
...when I was younger, I'm such a bookworm that I even read newspapers like an old man. Mostly I'll flips through all the pages first even when I saw some articles that I find interesting because I knew that once I started to read it, it will take me ages to finish since I have the habit of really reading from start to finish never missing one word and that's not going to help me get over the next page.
It has been a few days since I have been discharge from the hospital and I have been taking all those well wishes seriously. The resting part. Like really really resting. I woke up early now though for breakfast, because I need to time the medicine-eating right. Then after that I will either be dragging my body to bed and lie down or continue sleeping until lunch or I'll do some mild surfing on the internet and sometimes watch movies - everything done from the bed.
I tried cooking for dinner yesterday and half way through eating, I feel dizzy (pening-pening lalat). I knew then that I have been resting too much and my body is weak. So today I drag myself out of the house and go for my schedule hair treatment at the shop nearby. At least it's nothing heavy, just sitting and I bring a book to read. So while in the midst of it all, I saw a newspaper and decided to look through the articles.
Interestingly, The Star newspaper is currently putting spaces here and there where it will put all those old archive news or what used to be in the newspaper all those years before. Some kind of trudging down memory lane I guess. Imagine my delight when I saw a few of my old time favorite sections being published in a newspaper again.
The section that caught my attention the most was the Pen Pal section. I remember looking through that list when I was a young teenager and skimming through all the names, ages, location and the best one is the hobbies. I would usually pick someone who's really from far away or some boys name whom I thought might be cute judging from the name. Ha ha ha
I had fun looking at it again which from the looks of it were scanned and printed to that page and I really wanted to take pictures but then the phone's camera was being difficult so I end up with no pictures. Sad. :(
Then I came across the Comics. Oh I really love them back then. I remember having a scrap book and I would cut those that I like most and paste it on the book. I think I did that back when I did not really understand English that much. But then again, most of the comics were pictures and less words so I think I was giving it my own interpretation and picked those that I thought were funny. And the pictures were cute too. I wonder where's the book now. We move houses way too much when I was a kid I think there's not much left of any old remembrance at home now.
And of course one more section which hold dear to my heart was the Crossword. If I'm not mistaken, it was the Borneo Post Crossword that have this A to Z series of crossword that you have to finish to win the money. One alphabet will have a few crosswords to it I think. Like A1, A2...up until I can't remember actually. I tried a lot of times but then imagine how hard it is to get one crossword right. This one you need to get all 10 or 20 of them correct. Thinking back, I'm actually amaze with my passion and of course patient with that contest. It was a very nice memory indeed.
Only those of you who were a kid as exciting as I was during those time can relate to this. Or not. No matter. He he he
By the way I watch the movie Once yesterday and Wel said all my movies were ganjil-ganjil. I was like...wtf...ha ha ha..kidding! I have just finish watching Jane Eyre before finishing this post and I enjoyed it very much. Honestly, that one is not weird, yes? Oh well, like I care. LOL
Good night everyone. :-)
It has been a few days since I have been discharge from the hospital and I have been taking all those well wishes seriously. The resting part. Like really really resting. I woke up early now though for breakfast, because I need to time the medicine-eating right. Then after that I will either be dragging my body to bed and lie down or continue sleeping until lunch or I'll do some mild surfing on the internet and sometimes watch movies - everything done from the bed.
I tried cooking for dinner yesterday and half way through eating, I feel dizzy (pening-pening lalat). I knew then that I have been resting too much and my body is weak. So today I drag myself out of the house and go for my schedule hair treatment at the shop nearby. At least it's nothing heavy, just sitting and I bring a book to read. So while in the midst of it all, I saw a newspaper and decided to look through the articles.
Interestingly, The Star newspaper is currently putting spaces here and there where it will put all those old archive news or what used to be in the newspaper all those years before. Some kind of trudging down memory lane I guess. Imagine my delight when I saw a few of my old time favorite sections being published in a newspaper again.
The section that caught my attention the most was the Pen Pal section. I remember looking through that list when I was a young teenager and skimming through all the names, ages, location and the best one is the hobbies. I would usually pick someone who's really from far away or some boys name whom I thought might be cute judging from the name. Ha ha ha
I had fun looking at it again which from the looks of it were scanned and printed to that page and I really wanted to take pictures but then the phone's camera was being difficult so I end up with no pictures. Sad. :(
Then I came across the Comics. Oh I really love them back then. I remember having a scrap book and I would cut those that I like most and paste it on the book. I think I did that back when I did not really understand English that much. But then again, most of the comics were pictures and less words so I think I was giving it my own interpretation and picked those that I thought were funny. And the pictures were cute too. I wonder where's the book now. We move houses way too much when I was a kid I think there's not much left of any old remembrance at home now.
And of course one more section which hold dear to my heart was the Crossword. If I'm not mistaken, it was the Borneo Post Crossword that have this A to Z series of crossword that you have to finish to win the money. One alphabet will have a few crosswords to it I think. Like A1, A2...up until I can't remember actually. I tried a lot of times but then imagine how hard it is to get one crossword right. This one you need to get all 10 or 20 of them correct. Thinking back, I'm actually amaze with my passion and of course patient with that contest. It was a very nice memory indeed.
Only those of you who were a kid as exciting as I was during those time can relate to this. Or not. No matter. He he he
By the way I watch the movie Once yesterday and Wel said all my movies were ganjil-ganjil. I was like...wtf...ha ha ha..kidding! I have just finish watching Jane Eyre before finishing this post and I enjoyed it very much. Honestly, that one is not weird, yes? Oh well, like I care. LOL
Good night everyone. :-)
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Limitless
Holiday is only two days away. The list of things that I can or might do is endless. Or is it really?
Let see.
1. Go to Borders everyday andread books.
2. Watch movies.
3. Travel somewhere unplanned and unexpected.
4. Sleep.
5. Blog.
6. Write a short story.
7. Singing practice.
8. Guitar practice.
9. Speech practice.
10. Intensive exercise.
11. Do something I have never done before.
I guess that should be enough for eight days holiday, yes? Or any of you have other brilliant idea? I'm open for suggestion. :-)
As of 3rd Sept: Strikeout items are those I have done or those that had happen.
Let see.
1. Go to Borders everyday and
3. Travel somewhere unplanned and unexpected.
6. Write a short story.
7. Singing practice.
8. Guitar practice.
9. Speech practice.
10. Intensive exercise.
I guess that should be enough for eight days holiday, yes? Or any of you have other brilliant idea? I'm open for suggestion. :-)
As of 3rd Sept: Strikeout items are those I have done or those that had happen.
Living With The Boys
One thing for sure, we are not biologically related. Rrrr...hahaha kidding.
I was raised by a single mother. I don't have any older or younger brothers growing up. Just me, my sister and of course my mother. Boys and men were a foreign terms to me. I think that could be the reason why I tend to gravitate more towards these particular gender rather than my own my whole life. I'm curious.
When I was a kid, my mother used to tell me that if she wanted to look for me every time after I've been gone for so long playing Police and Thieves or Hide and Seek, she would usually look at where the boys are playing and not the other way around. It has been more or less the same up until now.
I graduated in 2007 and after that all my best girlfriends have either get married or scattered around the universe working in all sort of jobs you can imagine. Then of course my line of work has not been helping at all for me to keep my feminine side intact. I work in a mechanical area where I sometimes find myself the only girl in the room during meetings or lunches or breakfast. I am not saying that I have a problem with that. I don't, really. I was a bit of a tomboy growing up anyway.
So let me tell you how it was for me for the past few years.
First and foremost, boys, they are a very straight forward creature. Sometimes I think that if they learn to lie more, this world would be a better place to live. I remember asking my friend John (not a real name) on one of the tricky question we girls have for guys. I said this,
"I think I'm gaining weight."
It was more like a statement though. Of course I knew I was gaining weight but well we girls just need some reassurance. I was complaining that I was eating more and more everyday and it worries me. His response to that was,
'Oh yeah, no wonder I've been thinking that you are getting bigger every day too. Especially at this area.'
He was pointing at my tummy at this point. See? It's very different with us girls. We'll never say that to one another. At least not directly.
Secondly, you'll get a new amusing nick names. For my own sake and of course them, I have learn not to take it seriously and I'm still trying. Remember the 'gaining weight' topic? My friends have some very funny names for me for that. It seems like for guys, they have a strange notion of showing affection. Us girls, we'll hold hands or whisper to each others ears, gossiping, helping one another plucking eyebrows and having a sleepover talking through the night. We are quite physical.
With men, they don't go around holding each others hand. They hug only when necessary. We girls do it anytime we feel like it. So I guess this is their way of showing they love you. By calling you names. Affectionate names. Like 'Perempuan Gemuk' or whatever...you get the idea.
Last but not least, if you really have a close male buddies, you should know this. You'll tend to have the same hobby sooner or later. Gone were the days where I spent many times shopping and window shopping and also heart to heart sharing.
Now it's more like hiking in the jungle whenever we feel like bloated after too much eating or too much drinking. We have also make it a habit to go camping and fishing four or five times a year. If we are not doing all that, we'll be playing badminton every Saturday for two hours, jog for a few kilometers everyday or just drink and drink again. Omg.
So, here it goes. You will have to either bear with the name callings and the never-get-a-compliment-directly or keep your distance. I did warn you. Ha ha ha
I was raised by a single mother. I don't have any older or younger brothers growing up. Just me, my sister and of course my mother. Boys and men were a foreign terms to me. I think that could be the reason why I tend to gravitate more towards these particular gender rather than my own my whole life. I'm curious.
When I was a kid, my mother used to tell me that if she wanted to look for me every time after I've been gone for so long playing Police and Thieves or Hide and Seek, she would usually look at where the boys are playing and not the other way around. It has been more or less the same up until now.
I graduated in 2007 and after that all my best girlfriends have either get married or scattered around the universe working in all sort of jobs you can imagine. Then of course my line of work has not been helping at all for me to keep my feminine side intact. I work in a mechanical area where I sometimes find myself the only girl in the room during meetings or lunches or breakfast. I am not saying that I have a problem with that. I don't, really. I was a bit of a tomboy growing up anyway.
So let me tell you how it was for me for the past few years.
First and foremost, boys, they are a very straight forward creature. Sometimes I think that if they learn to lie more, this world would be a better place to live. I remember asking my friend John (not a real name) on one of the tricky question we girls have for guys. I said this,
"I think I'm gaining weight."
It was more like a statement though. Of course I knew I was gaining weight but well we girls just need some reassurance. I was complaining that I was eating more and more everyday and it worries me. His response to that was,
'Oh yeah, no wonder I've been thinking that you are getting bigger every day too. Especially at this area.'
He was pointing at my tummy at this point. See? It's very different with us girls. We'll never say that to one another. At least not directly.
Secondly, you'll get a new amusing nick names. For my own sake and of course them, I have learn not to take it seriously and I'm still trying. Remember the 'gaining weight' topic? My friends have some very funny names for me for that. It seems like for guys, they have a strange notion of showing affection. Us girls, we'll hold hands or whisper to each others ears, gossiping, helping one another plucking eyebrows and having a sleepover talking through the night. We are quite physical.
With men, they don't go around holding each others hand. They hug only when necessary. We girls do it anytime we feel like it. So I guess this is their way of showing they love you. By calling you names. Affectionate names. Like 'Perempuan Gemuk' or whatever...you get the idea.
Last but not least, if you really have a close male buddies, you should know this. You'll tend to have the same hobby sooner or later. Gone were the days where I spent many times shopping and window shopping and also heart to heart sharing.
Now it's more like hiking in the jungle whenever we feel like bloated after too much eating or too much drinking. We have also make it a habit to go camping and fishing four or five times a year. If we are not doing all that, we'll be playing badminton every Saturday for two hours, jog for a few kilometers everyday or just drink and drink again. Omg.
So, here it goes. You will have to either bear with the name callings and the never-get-a-compliment-directly or keep your distance. I did warn you. Ha ha ha
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Life Over Here
I've been telling myself to try to sleep early every night as I have not been getting enough sleep for the last few days due to many things that I need to get prepared and at the same time just having trouble falling asleep.
And you know what, right here right now...I miss my girlfriends. It's very different having guys around you most of the time. At the office, the office's cafe during breakfast and lunch, at home, on the road or on social network...at the malls..even at the parking lot...everywhere..I'm starting to see more guys than girls these days...and sometimes I think I need a break.
I miss having a good talk with a girl. Being affectionate with each other. Holding hands. Go shopping the way we girls do. Gossiping merrily...and just all those sort of things girls do.
I don't have a problem with all the guys around me now. Don't get me wrong. I love my best boyfriends here from the bottom of my heart. And I like my colleagues at work. They are okay. It just....I don't know. I don't know why I'm feeling like this. I guess I just have been missing some natural part of being a girl I guess. I don't know....
p/s I drafted this post a few weeks back..the feeling have subsided a bit but seeing that I don't really have a post during August..I just decided to publish it anyway. Hehehe
And you know what, right here right now...I miss my girlfriends. It's very different having guys around you most of the time. At the office, the office's cafe during breakfast and lunch, at home, on the road or on social network...at the malls..even at the parking lot...everywhere..I'm starting to see more guys than girls these days...and sometimes I think I need a break.
I miss having a good talk with a girl. Being affectionate with each other. Holding hands. Go shopping the way we girls do. Gossiping merrily...and just all those sort of things girls do.
I don't have a problem with all the guys around me now. Don't get me wrong. I love my best boyfriends here from the bottom of my heart. And I like my colleagues at work. They are okay. It just....I don't know. I don't know why I'm feeling like this. I guess I just have been missing some natural part of being a girl I guess. I don't know....
p/s I drafted this post a few weeks back..the feeling have subsided a bit but seeing that I don't really have a post during August..I just decided to publish it anyway. Hehehe
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Run!Run!Run!
I need to start running seriously again. Happily of course. Just a bit more disciplined than I was lately. I think my weight is not getting any lesser.
Coincidentally too, I have been feeling like I need to get away for a while. I'm not sure what it is exactly that I really need to get away from but sometimes I feel suffocated by everything that is going on through my head. I even started to dream so much of things that I hate and things that I wish for. Omg. I know. Sometimes I think that there might be something wrong with me. So I think beside jogging, I also need to run away to some place where I can get a peace of mind.
Maybe I should just go for an unplanned trip once in a while. Even better, I should just pick any location now and buy me an overnight plane tickets or bus tickets or train tickets...whatever it is. The tickets sound weird to me now after repeating the sentence through my head.
Coincidentally too, I have been feeling like I need to get away for a while. I'm not sure what it is exactly that I really need to get away from but sometimes I feel suffocated by everything that is going on through my head. I even started to dream so much of things that I hate and things that I wish for. Omg. I know. Sometimes I think that there might be something wrong with me. So I think beside jogging, I also need to run away to some place where I can get a peace of mind.
Maybe I should just go for an unplanned trip once in a while. Even better, I should just pick any location now and buy me an overnight plane tickets or bus tickets or train tickets...whatever it is. The tickets sound weird to me now after repeating the sentence through my head.
I have a small world globe like this in the room. Almost the same shape and color. Bought it during that first visit to Singapore.
I just want the whole world to stop for a while. Please let me wander around as long as I want and let me be at every places I need to be.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Time Flies
It's already April. I have a feeling that time passes quicker every year. And I've been busy. In a good way of course. Hi hi hi.
Working life is so far so good. Very busy but I'm happy with the way things are now. Been up hiking and also fishing (Bukit Jambul, Youth Park, Pantai Kerachut) and jog every evening getting ready for all the run that I have registered.
In February, I went to Kelantan for the first time for my best friend's wedding. Congratulation again Axxa. Love you. :-) It was a very good trip and I get to see another part of this country that is quite unique and different. I have some pictures taken all around town but have to dig it out somewhere.
Two weeks before, on 20th March I went down to Singapore (also my first time) for work purpose. Visiting customer which happen to be one of those great places to be in Singapore. Sentosa World Resort. It was a very good trip and I'm happy I did a great job and able to produce good field report. I get to hang out with Rayner, Cecilia and Brandon too, which have kept their promise to treat me well if I ever visit them there. Thank you guys. :-)
First run of the year was the Malakoff Run. I did 1hr 03mins for a 8Km run. Proud of me. It could have been better if Wel didn't trick me into walking for a good few minutes! I won't fall for that again next time Wel. So you better watch out. Kidding! Hahaha Anyway, I'm looking forward to the Energizer Night Run in three weeks time!
And that's roughly what I have been up to these last few months. I'm grateful for all of the great things that had happen so far.
Thank you life.
Working life is so far so good. Very busy but I'm happy with the way things are now. Been up hiking and also fishing (Bukit Jambul, Youth Park, Pantai Kerachut) and jog every evening getting ready for all the run that I have registered.
In February, I went to Kelantan for the first time for my best friend's wedding. Congratulation again Axxa. Love you. :-) It was a very good trip and I get to see another part of this country that is quite unique and different. I have some pictures taken all around town but have to dig it out somewhere.
Two weeks before, on 20th March I went down to Singapore (also my first time) for work purpose. Visiting customer which happen to be one of those great places to be in Singapore. Sentosa World Resort. It was a very good trip and I'm happy I did a great job and able to produce good field report. I get to hang out with Rayner, Cecilia and Brandon too, which have kept their promise to treat me well if I ever visit them there. Thank you guys. :-)
@ Clarke Quay
I think this is @ 313
First run of the year was the Malakoff Run. I did 1hr 03mins for a 8Km run. Proud of me. It could have been better if Wel didn't trick me into walking for a good few minutes! I won't fall for that again next time Wel. So you better watch out. Kidding! Hahaha Anyway, I'm looking forward to the Energizer Night Run in three weeks time!
Us after the run
And that's roughly what I have been up to these last few months. I'm grateful for all of the great things that had happen so far.
Thank you life.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Monday, January 17, 2011
World On A String
Yep. I've got the world on a string. [smile.and.smile.again]
It was on one fine Sunday afternoon. Three friends were drinking beer. We were a bit drunk I guess. Me and Jew were talking about our last year's plan which was him teaching me to play guitar. Then Wel said to me, "Let's go and buy your guitar." And as usual, my reply to that was, "I'll buy it at the end of this month [which already been months]. I don't really have a budget for that now."
The next thing I knew, I was already on my way to the guitar shop. That was actually very nice. The spontaneity and all. I owe you this one Wel. Thank you so much! [and.smile.again] Although, I could not really have much sense on picking up my best guitar choice due to dizziness. Haha.
And, as you may already guess, I now have a guitar. My very first one. [smile.and.smile.again] I am very much excited about it. After work today, Jew already teach me a few techniques and I'm going to master that myself before I go and ask him another new skill toshow off learn.
I'm going to be quite occupied on weekdays from now on. Everyday after work, it's a guitar lesson, jogging and going back to school which is opening up the Mechanics of Materials because I am much aware of my weak Mechanical basic and I'm making an effort to be better. I should win the best employee or something this year. Kidding! And I also need to teach Jew the Solidwork design which we agreed upon in exchange to him teaching me to be a musician. Nice. Haha
Ok. Enough writing for now. I want to do a bit of virtual farming and then strum a little. A bit of G and C to life...then off to sleep.
Everything and everyone. Thank you.
It was on one fine Sunday afternoon. Three friends were drinking beer. We were a bit drunk I guess. Me and Jew were talking about our last year's plan which was him teaching me to play guitar. Then Wel said to me, "Let's go and buy your guitar." And as usual, my reply to that was, "I'll buy it at the end of this month [which already been months]. I don't really have a budget for that now."
The next thing I knew, I was already on my way to the guitar shop. That was actually very nice. The spontaneity and all. I owe you this one Wel. Thank you so much! [and.smile.again] Although, I could not really have much sense on picking up my best guitar choice due to dizziness. Haha.
And, as you may already guess, I now have a guitar. My very first one. [smile.and.smile.again] I am very much excited about it. After work today, Jew already teach me a few techniques and I'm going to master that myself before I go and ask him another new skill to
I'm going to be quite occupied on weekdays from now on. Everyday after work, it's a guitar lesson, jogging and going back to school which is opening up the Mechanics of Materials because I am much aware of my weak Mechanical basic and I'm making an effort to be better. I should win the best employee or something this year. Kidding! And I also need to teach Jew the Solidwork design which we agreed upon in exchange to him teaching me to be a musician. Nice. Haha
Ok. Enough writing for now. I want to do a bit of virtual farming and then strum a little. A bit of G and C to life...then off to sleep.
Everything and everyone. Thank you.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Words...they tend to confuse you.
I'm in my room, feeling at peace but also feels quite 'new'. Like I'm still getting used to it..but here, I can look at every single thing around and nothing else to be reminded of. Just me and my stuff.
I plan to do a bit more decluttering and maybe to change the bedroom setting to avoid knocking over the edge of the bed. But that would take quite some time and energy so maybe tomorrow. Or the day after. I haven't decide.
I should sleep early tonight. I thought of finishing a book or watch the movie 'The Three Idiots' my colleague gave me this morning but now I don't really feel like it. Just thinking of hitting the sack.
Maybe I should meditate a bit...clearing my mind off those things that are unnecessary and then go to bed and wake up fresh and happy tomorrow.
I will do that.
And, I'm grateful for being me. With all the imperfection and flaws.
I haven't got my gratitude journal so...that's why. :)
Good night everyone.
I plan to do a bit more decluttering and maybe to change the bedroom setting to avoid knocking over the edge of the bed. But that would take quite some time and energy so maybe tomorrow. Or the day after. I haven't decide.
Mcm ok jg kalau kaler merah kan. :-D
I should sleep early tonight. I thought of finishing a book or watch the movie 'The Three Idiots' my colleague gave me this morning but now I don't really feel like it. Just thinking of hitting the sack.
Maybe I should meditate a bit...clearing my mind off those things that are unnecessary and then go to bed and wake up fresh and happy tomorrow.
I will do that.
And, I'm grateful for being me. With all the imperfection and flaws.
I haven't got my gratitude journal so...that's why. :)
Good night everyone.
WikiHow
Keep a gratitude journal. Challenge yourself to write down five new things every day that you're grateful for. It'll be easy in the beginning, but soon you'll discover that you have to increase your awareness to keep on.
Try to focus on the positive, instead. Be thankful for what you have. And remember that if someone is going to hurt you, there's nothing you can do to stop it anyway. No amount of nagging, monitoring, accusation, snooping, or guarding will prevent you from being hurt. If you believe in someone, believe in them completely; give them all your trust. The benefit of the doubt is essential for any relationship to work. - WikiHow.
Try to focus on the positive, instead. Be thankful for what you have. And remember that if someone is going to hurt you, there's nothing you can do to stop it anyway. No amount of nagging, monitoring, accusation, snooping, or guarding will prevent you from being hurt. If you believe in someone, believe in them completely; give them all your trust. The benefit of the doubt is essential for any relationship to work. - WikiHow.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
To Try, To Love, Be Understanding & Believe in Life.
Let me start the post in 2011 with this song from one of my favourite singer, Delta Goodrem. After all, this year is going to be as awesome as this song. I have no doubt about that.
"Born To Try"
Doing everything that I believe in
Going by the rules that I've been taught
More understanding of what's around me
And protected from the walls of love
All that you see is me
And all I truly believe
That I was born to try
I've learned to love
Be understanding
And believe in life
But you've got to make choices
Be wrong or right
Sometimes you've got to sacrifice the things you like
But I was born to try
No point in talking what you should have been
And regretting the things that went on
Life's full of mistakes, destinies and fate
Remove the clouds look at the bigger picture
And all that you see is me
And all I truly believe
That I was born to try
I've learned to love
Be understanding
And believe in life
But you've got to make choices
Be wrong or right
Sometimes you've got to sacrifice the things you like
But I was born to try
All that you see is me
All I truly believe
All that you see is me
And all I truly believe
That I was born to try
I've learned to love
Be understanding
And believe in life
But you've got to make choices
Be wrong or right
Sometimes you've got to sacrifice the things you like
But I was born to try
But you've got to make choices
Be wrong or right
Sometimes you've got to sacrifice the things you like
But I was born to try...
"Born To Try"
Doing everything that I believe in
Going by the rules that I've been taught
More understanding of what's around me
And protected from the walls of love
All that you see is me
And all I truly believe
That I was born to try
I've learned to love
Be understanding
And believe in life
But you've got to make choices
Be wrong or right
Sometimes you've got to sacrifice the things you like
But I was born to try
No point in talking what you should have been
And regretting the things that went on
Life's full of mistakes, destinies and fate
Remove the clouds look at the bigger picture
And all that you see is me
And all I truly believe
That I was born to try
I've learned to love
Be understanding
And believe in life
But you've got to make choices
Be wrong or right
Sometimes you've got to sacrifice the things you like
But I was born to try
All that you see is me
All I truly believe
All that you see is me
And all I truly believe
That I was born to try
I've learned to love
Be understanding
And believe in life
But you've got to make choices
Be wrong or right
Sometimes you've got to sacrifice the things you like
But I was born to try
But you've got to make choices
Be wrong or right
Sometimes you've got to sacrifice the things you like
But I was born to try...
Friday, December 10, 2010
Season of Everything
I have been playing too much Farm Ville on Facebook lately. Not that I'm bored with nothing to do but I guess it's the season of everything. Christmas season, farming season...you name it.
It's only a week now before going back to Sabah to be with my family and friends. I'm very much looking forward to it. Even though as usual I wish I have more money for everything.
A lot of things have happened this year. I quit my previous job last August and now working in XXX company. So far, I have been quite happy working with the new company although of course there's a few ups and down when you are still a new hire. Quite differently now, I don't really mind working extra late and I have not yet have the dreaded feeling of waking up to work as what I have sometimes felt in my previous company. I guess, it was really a time to change for me. Nothing is ever routine now. Everything is new. There's so much to catch up and to learn fast. The expectation is high and sometimes I feel stupid. But I'm going to enjoy it as long as I can. Before the curve turn to flat.
And...I'm single again. It was the right thing to do and I'm not going to go into much detail on that.
I still have my own way of seeing life and let me tell you this. Right and wrong is just a matter of opinion. More than often, I'm always optimistic. And I may seems naive at times, but that's my choice. I choose to live like that. There are times when I want to be careful and there are times when I can just accept-no-problem if I'm being cheated into, robbed or tricked. I may not have a strong stance over something that seems a small matter to me or just those things that I don't feel strongly about but for other things that does matter, there's really nothing you can do or say to make me change my mind.
I wrote about doing just two things this year at the start of the year and I'm glad I did it. I definitely want to repeat that resolution and also add those that I already plan in my head.
The year have not even finish yet, but I already have plans for the next coming one. Now that everything seems to go well and to the right direction, all I can think of for next year is to make everything better than it is now. There's a few things I had in mind. And you bet I'll do it all.
For these next few weeks, I just have to give my energy, attention and commitment to the family back at home. Excited much?
It's only a week now before going back to Sabah to be with my family and friends. I'm very much looking forward to it. Even though as usual I wish I have more money for everything.
A lot of things have happened this year. I quit my previous job last August and now working in XXX company. So far, I have been quite happy working with the new company although of course there's a few ups and down when you are still a new hire. Quite differently now, I don't really mind working extra late and I have not yet have the dreaded feeling of waking up to work as what I have sometimes felt in my previous company. I guess, it was really a time to change for me. Nothing is ever routine now. Everything is new. There's so much to catch up and to learn fast. The expectation is high and sometimes I feel stupid. But I'm going to enjoy it as long as I can. Before the curve turn to flat.
And...I'm single again. It was the right thing to do and I'm not going to go into much detail on that.
I still have my own way of seeing life and let me tell you this. Right and wrong is just a matter of opinion. More than often, I'm always optimistic. And I may seems naive at times, but that's my choice. I choose to live like that. There are times when I want to be careful and there are times when I can just accept-no-problem if I'm being cheated into, robbed or tricked. I may not have a strong stance over something that seems a small matter to me or just those things that I don't feel strongly about but for other things that does matter, there's really nothing you can do or say to make me change my mind.
I wrote about doing just two things this year at the start of the year and I'm glad I did it. I definitely want to repeat that resolution and also add those that I already plan in my head.
The year have not even finish yet, but I already have plans for the next coming one. Now that everything seems to go well and to the right direction, all I can think of for next year is to make everything better than it is now. There's a few things I had in mind. And you bet I'll do it all.
For these next few weeks, I just have to give my energy, attention and commitment to the family back at home. Excited much?
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
24K Gold
I bought a set of eye mask supposedly filled with 24K active gold to beautify and invigorate (yeah~) the skin on the eye zone from a boutique a few months ago..when the lady explained on how to apply it, I remember I was nodding here and there with understanding.
I finally get myself to use it a minute ago..confirm lah lupa! and..the writing which looks to me like a direction of use, is in Chinese.
I finally get myself to use it a minute ago..confirm lah lupa! and..the writing which looks to me like a direction of use, is in Chinese.
Harap-harap mata xbertukar jadi kuning keemasan esok. lol
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Of Many Things...
Sist and her kids have gone back to her husband's hometown. Mom is alone again at home. I called her up and we had a really nice talk.
We talked about many things. Baby Ryan is growing up fast and getting so funny and bikin gerigitan. He gets so cheeky at trying not to get caught hiding the paper plane he plan to throw at the neighbour's cat. Or gets teary eyed and using his baby-power of being adorable and run quickly to hug you as some kind of a sorry act just before you are about to do some spanking. Bless him. Ian is his usual self, not really care much about the fuss and everything except for a must have Milo on every trip to the grocery store and the latest i'm-not-quite-sure-what-the-name-was candy kids are apparently gets so crazy nowadays.
Nanak is also still at her usual rant of "Mama, kau sayang aku?" or "Oh, kau sayang baby sama Ian seja skg kan. Aku nda mau tolong kau suda lah." everytime she's getting in a quarrel with anyone in the house. Typical Nanak. Adi Kecil is getting more cunning each day. Being good to you if she want to tag along when you are going out and ignore you right away once she's safely home with all the goodies she manage to put her hands on.
And it was Christmas mood. Mom was asking whether to change the green christmas tree to a white one this year, on plans for a type of dishes during family gathering and what I should get for the kids for christmas presents and so on. Looking forward to being back home now. :)
I told Mom about the singing performance in the company and I was pleasantly suprised that she actually remember one of the song.
"Saya nyanyi tu lagu yang saya ikut pertandingan di Central dulu tu."
"I Turn To You kah?" She said.
It was like 5 years ago or something. She has always been so supportive of me in singing.
Then I'm not quite sure how we came to the matter of marriage and kids and when I gently told her that I may not be getting married in near future, or maybe ever, she was still quite a sport about it like how she did all this while. I guess she always know that I have my own way of looking at things in life and she respected that. What suprised me the most was when I told her that if I never get to meet someone who likes me enough to marry me, then I may want to consider just having a baby and be a single mother, we were actually discussing about how to make it happen! Haha...but still as a mother, I know she would like it for me to settle down with a nice guy and have a good marriage but at the same time, still open with anything that I may decide. Love her so much. :)
When we get to the point of talking about the recent accident, I think that we were both trying to hold our emotion and trying not to cry on the phone. The thought of Nanak getting hurt and scared like that really makes me and Mom emotional and very protective. It's just obvious even among the family member that we both really thought of Nanak as our own daughter and that we love her so much.
I was trying to hold my tears when Mom recall the story of the accident and also the kindness of the guy and his girlfriend who help them all throughout the entire process of taking them to the hospital, waiting up in the hospital together, even asking Mom to just rest and took charge of consulting with the doctors and sending them home. When Mom was at loss for words feeling so touch by their kindness, they actually went and hug Mom just to say that everything is allright and checking up on Nanak after a few days just to see how she's doing. We were just feeling so lucky and grateful to meet someone like them. I told Mom that we should invite them to our family gathering this year. I really want to meet these two lovely souls in person.
And...after almost two hours talking on the phone, nasib baik dua-dua mau p kancing kalau nda tia pandai putus-putus bercerita. Haha
We talked about many things. Baby Ryan is growing up fast and getting so funny and bikin gerigitan. He gets so cheeky at trying not to get caught hiding the paper plane he plan to throw at the neighbour's cat. Or gets teary eyed and using his baby-power of being adorable and run quickly to hug you as some kind of a sorry act just before you are about to do some spanking. Bless him. Ian is his usual self, not really care much about the fuss and everything except for a must have Milo on every trip to the grocery store and the latest i'm-not-quite-sure-what-the-name-was candy kids are apparently gets so crazy nowadays.
Nanak is also still at her usual rant of "Mama, kau sayang aku?" or "Oh, kau sayang baby sama Ian seja skg kan. Aku nda mau tolong kau suda lah." everytime she's getting in a quarrel with anyone in the house. Typical Nanak. Adi Kecil is getting more cunning each day. Being good to you if she want to tag along when you are going out and ignore you right away once she's safely home with all the goodies she manage to put her hands on.
And it was Christmas mood. Mom was asking whether to change the green christmas tree to a white one this year, on plans for a type of dishes during family gathering and what I should get for the kids for christmas presents and so on. Looking forward to being back home now. :)
I told Mom about the singing performance in the company and I was pleasantly suprised that she actually remember one of the song.
"Saya nyanyi tu lagu yang saya ikut pertandingan di Central dulu tu."
"I Turn To You kah?" She said.
It was like 5 years ago or something. She has always been so supportive of me in singing.
Then I'm not quite sure how we came to the matter of marriage and kids and when I gently told her that I may not be getting married in near future, or maybe ever, she was still quite a sport about it like how she did all this while. I guess she always know that I have my own way of looking at things in life and she respected that. What suprised me the most was when I told her that if I never get to meet someone who likes me enough to marry me, then I may want to consider just having a baby and be a single mother, we were actually discussing about how to make it happen! Haha...but still as a mother, I know she would like it for me to settle down with a nice guy and have a good marriage but at the same time, still open with anything that I may decide. Love her so much. :)
When we get to the point of talking about the recent accident, I think that we were both trying to hold our emotion and trying not to cry on the phone. The thought of Nanak getting hurt and scared like that really makes me and Mom emotional and very protective. It's just obvious even among the family member that we both really thought of Nanak as our own daughter and that we love her so much.
I was trying to hold my tears when Mom recall the story of the accident and also the kindness of the guy and his girlfriend who help them all throughout the entire process of taking them to the hospital, waiting up in the hospital together, even asking Mom to just rest and took charge of consulting with the doctors and sending them home. When Mom was at loss for words feeling so touch by their kindness, they actually went and hug Mom just to say that everything is allright and checking up on Nanak after a few days just to see how she's doing. We were just feeling so lucky and grateful to meet someone like them. I told Mom that we should invite them to our family gathering this year. I really want to meet these two lovely souls in person.
And...after almost two hours talking on the phone, nasib baik dua-dua mau p kancing kalau nda tia pandai putus-putus bercerita. Haha
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Because You Love Me
That was the song.
After quite some time...I got a chance to sing for an event again. I was quite nervous and I think it shows.
It was a bit embarassing.
I'm singing again tomorrow, for the second day of the event and I hope I'm done with the nervousness by then. I just prepared for one song each day but maybe I have to sing two songs tomorrow. I have pick another quite an easy song and I'm hoping I can deliver it well.
I really love singing and the best part out of it is when I know that people enjoyed it. I always have this idea of just performing and singing but I don't have to be like a commercial artist or something. Just singing. And making people happy.
I'm really grateful everytime I'm given a chance to sing a song, entertaining people despite feeling anxious once in a while. I'm quite excited for tomorrow and really really want to do the best I can. Wish me luck!
After quite some time...I got a chance to sing for an event again. I was quite nervous and I think it shows.
It was a bit embarassing.
I'm singing again tomorrow, for the second day of the event and I hope I'm done with the nervousness by then. I just prepared for one song each day but maybe I have to sing two songs tomorrow. I have pick another quite an easy song and I'm hoping I can deliver it well.
I really love singing and the best part out of it is when I know that people enjoyed it. I always have this idea of just performing and singing but I don't have to be like a commercial artist or something. Just singing. And making people happy.
I'm really grateful everytime I'm given a chance to sing a song, entertaining people despite feeling anxious once in a while. I'm quite excited for tomorrow and really really want to do the best I can. Wish me luck!
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Life...
...is simple. Maybe just not easy.
I wonder how the writers do it. They must have lots of writer's block moment and yet they keep coming in with new books and stories. I don't exactly have any kind of block but it's just that whenever I have something to write about, before I even start typing a few words, there's always this heavy feeling or excuse coming out from deep within my chest that makes me stop and never start on anything.
There has been so much things going on in these last few months and naturally for other people who's having this kind of moments, there will be much to tell...lots of stuff to share but suddenly I'm becoming more private than ever.
Life has been fair. I'm grateful for everything. Whether it's hard, it's great or it's confusing...gratitude is all i feel right now.
Sometimes you see people around you chasing after something, walking fast to be there first, to save the time and go to the next thing. Even myself feel impatient with how things are turning out once in while. There's always a need to feel something in a blink of an eye. To have something right away.
But at this very moment, I feel like I just want to go slow with the flow of life. Something like going slow motion with living. I don't want to hurry but be there when it happens.
And I'm happy just the way I am now.
I wonder how the writers do it. They must have lots of writer's block moment and yet they keep coming in with new books and stories. I don't exactly have any kind of block but it's just that whenever I have something to write about, before I even start typing a few words, there's always this heavy feeling or excuse coming out from deep within my chest that makes me stop and never start on anything.
There has been so much things going on in these last few months and naturally for other people who's having this kind of moments, there will be much to tell...lots of stuff to share but suddenly I'm becoming more private than ever.
Life has been fair. I'm grateful for everything. Whether it's hard, it's great or it's confusing...gratitude is all i feel right now.
Sometimes you see people around you chasing after something, walking fast to be there first, to save the time and go to the next thing. Even myself feel impatient with how things are turning out once in while. There's always a need to feel something in a blink of an eye. To have something right away.
But at this very moment, I feel like I just want to go slow with the flow of life. Something like going slow motion with living. I don't want to hurry but be there when it happens.
And I'm happy just the way I am now.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Of Being Dusun
I almost forgot just how proud I have always been of being born a Dusun girl. Of how unique the culture and the language are. And how beautiful everything it represents.
It must be because I've been listening to Dusun's songs almost everyday these last few weeks and sometimes it feels closer to home and it makes me realize that I'm not that Penangite after all.
I have to thank my friend Jewin for telling me about his sister's blog (in which I have taken instant likeness after reading the first entry) and also the song in the post that have made all the forgotten emotion to re-surface and I have this huge fondness for the kid Sakril Sidik @ Adi who sang that song, Tinggur Bulawan beautifully. It's just so sad that he passed away too soon. May his soul rest in peace.
There's so much to tell about Dusun and I'm not quite sure if I can do the justice it deserve in writing so here's something short taken from Wikipedia. If you want to know more, go get a Dusun friend now. ;-)
"The vast majority of Kadazandusuns live in the hills and upland valleys and have a reputation for peacefulness, hospitality, hard work, frugality, drinking, and are averse to violence, although in the recent past they did indulge in headhunting as part of their tribal wars.
Kadazandusuns are known as the Latin artists of the East, being famous in the state for love and passion for music. Their traditional dances appear attractive and gentle full of passion for life, making the Kadazandusun culture a popular and beautiful one, and much sought by tourists to Sabah.
Even though Kadazandusuns are known for their peaceful nature, they are also well known for their bravery and defiant nature towards oppression and foreign rule." - Wikipedia
I once had a chat with Jewin about the on-going dispute between Malaysia and Indonesia.
Claire: Macamna la kalau tiba-tiba durang pigi serang kita?
Jewin: Nda payah takut ba kita di Sabah. Kita kan born warriors.
Hehe
p/s Intangai ku kaagu ti sorita nga amu pama haro dusun-dusun dau pointulis...iti nopo nga kosukup lah. :-D
It must be because I've been listening to Dusun's songs almost everyday these last few weeks and sometimes it feels closer to home and it makes me realize that I'm not that Penangite after all.
I have to thank my friend Jewin for telling me about his sister's blog (in which I have taken instant likeness after reading the first entry) and also the song in the post that have made all the forgotten emotion to re-surface and I have this huge fondness for the kid Sakril Sidik @ Adi who sang that song, Tinggur Bulawan beautifully. It's just so sad that he passed away too soon. May his soul rest in peace.
There's so much to tell about Dusun and I'm not quite sure if I can do the justice it deserve in writing so here's something short taken from Wikipedia. If you want to know more, go get a Dusun friend now. ;-)
"The vast majority of Kadazandusuns live in the hills and upland valleys and have a reputation for peacefulness, hospitality, hard work, frugality, drinking, and are averse to violence, although in the recent past they did indulge in headhunting as part of their tribal wars.
Kadazandusuns are known as the Latin artists of the East, being famous in the state for love and passion for music. Their traditional dances appear attractive and gentle full of passion for life, making the Kadazandusun culture a popular and beautiful one, and much sought by tourists to Sabah.
Even though Kadazandusuns are known for their peaceful nature, they are also well known for their bravery and defiant nature towards oppression and foreign rule." - Wikipedia
I once had a chat with Jewin about the on-going dispute between Malaysia and Indonesia.
Claire: Macamna la kalau tiba-tiba durang pigi serang kita?
Jewin: Nda payah takut ba kita di Sabah. Kita kan born warriors.
Hehe
p/s Intangai ku kaagu ti sorita nga amu pama haro dusun-dusun dau pointulis...iti nopo nga kosukup lah. :-D
Sunday, August 1, 2010
First Sunday of August
Sometimes they say that people around you know about certain things more than you do because they have been doing the observation so they will judge better since they are not clouded by any emotion or bias perception about the matter.
And once it happen, you will say things like 'If they only knew!' - well, they don't. Because they're not you. Let me put it this way. Someone can care for you and still not understand your every motive, emotion, need, and desire.
Life have been confusing and hard these days but somehow, out of nowhere there's this feeling bursting out from deep within telling me that it is all under my own control and decision. People can say and tell you about many things - of what to do and what is right but at the end of the day you will be alone again and it is actually depend on how do you want to live your life and no one else can live it for you. Put aside whatever people say about things and just do what you feel right.
This time around, I am going to do whatever I want to and start all over again. Doing the best I can for my own life. Along the way, people will drop by and leave their markings on the door and soon they will be gone and that is meant to be. Their turn have come to put a color to your sketch of life. And when they are done, go on and do the same.
Just be grateful of it and be happy.
And once it happen, you will say things like 'If they only knew!' - well, they don't. Because they're not you. Let me put it this way. Someone can care for you and still not understand your every motive, emotion, need, and desire.
Life have been confusing and hard these days but somehow, out of nowhere there's this feeling bursting out from deep within telling me that it is all under my own control and decision. People can say and tell you about many things - of what to do and what is right but at the end of the day you will be alone again and it is actually depend on how do you want to live your life and no one else can live it for you. Put aside whatever people say about things and just do what you feel right.
This time around, I am going to do whatever I want to and start all over again. Doing the best I can for my own life. Along the way, people will drop by and leave their markings on the door and soon they will be gone and that is meant to be. Their turn have come to put a color to your sketch of life. And when they are done, go on and do the same.
Just be grateful of it and be happy.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Untitled.
I don't really feel so good today.
The day started quite okay but somehow it changed and now I just feel...low.
I'm quite a sport about many things and rarely ever want to lose my head over something. If I can just rationalize things a little patiently, I'll be as happy as a clam in no time. Even though one of my close friends once said that I am probably the most sensitive girl in the world, no one actually really saw it through me because I don't often get worked up over something that did not matter much to me. Most of the time, I am just a happy mind-my-own-business type of person.
But then, everyone have their own moody time. Even me. Especially me. I just know how to hide the emotion better than most people.
With things going on in my mind, suddenly I feel small and stupid. About actions that I have made previously. The way I thought so much about petty things and so on. Plus, there's a major self esteem issues going on with me at this very moment. I don't really feel pretty. And for the first time, there's a few things that I started to hate about myself.
Every once in a while, people would tell me that I'm starting to look fat or that my ass is a bit small or they think there's something wrong with the way I walk, but I never actually really care much about other people's opinion when it comes to looks and physical attributes. So it's all fine. But not today. Right now, if someone says that they think I look tired today, I'll take it that they mean I look like an ugly ghost and that I should have think twice before deciding to open the door and go to work this morning to save everyone from having to torture their eyes with the very sight of me. That thought alone actually pisses me off right now. Shit.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Sigh.
I know perfectly well that no matter what I do, how I dress, how I act, what I say, or what my opinions are, people would only choose to think what suited them the most. Some guys, for example, will look at me and wonder why their friends think that I'm attractive. Others will think I look more like an alien from another planet than as an actual human being. So I might as well just be myself, and gravitate towards those who really accept me just the way I am. You'll be surprise how judgmental anyone can be these days. Even families or close friends.
It's kind of embarrassing to feel this way. I always thought that no one will ever get under my skin with matters as trivial as this. Sigh. I guess today is the day that it happen.
The day started quite okay but somehow it changed and now I just feel...low.
I'm quite a sport about many things and rarely ever want to lose my head over something. If I can just rationalize things a little patiently, I'll be as happy as a clam in no time. Even though one of my close friends once said that I am probably the most sensitive girl in the world, no one actually really saw it through me because I don't often get worked up over something that did not matter much to me. Most of the time, I am just a happy mind-my-own-business type of person.
But then, everyone have their own moody time. Even me. Especially me. I just know how to hide the emotion better than most people.
With things going on in my mind, suddenly I feel small and stupid. About actions that I have made previously. The way I thought so much about petty things and so on. Plus, there's a major self esteem issues going on with me at this very moment. I don't really feel pretty. And for the first time, there's a few things that I started to hate about myself.
Every once in a while, people would tell me that I'm starting to look fat or that my ass is a bit small or they think there's something wrong with the way I walk, but I never actually really care much about other people's opinion when it comes to looks and physical attributes. So it's all fine. But not today. Right now, if someone says that they think I look tired today, I'll take it that they mean I look like an ugly ghost and that I should have think twice before deciding to open the door and go to work this morning to save everyone from having to torture their eyes with the very sight of me. That thought alone actually pisses me off right now. Shit.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Sigh.
I know perfectly well that no matter what I do, how I dress, how I act, what I say, or what my opinions are, people would only choose to think what suited them the most. Some guys, for example, will look at me and wonder why their friends think that I'm attractive. Others will think I look more like an alien from another planet than as an actual human being. So I might as well just be myself, and gravitate towards those who really accept me just the way I am. You'll be surprise how judgmental anyone can be these days. Even families or close friends.
It's kind of embarrassing to feel this way. I always thought that no one will ever get under my skin with matters as trivial as this. Sigh. I guess today is the day that it happen.
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