Thursday, July 31, 2008

A Night to Remember

It's not the best singing in the world but i treasure & cherish every moments & memory that comes together with this... :)

Dorsie kuat betul teriak 'clarice'......hihi

This was the time when i was really having a good time singing my heart out... Thanks to my supporters [seh..] & my friends who've been with me throughout the years i'm representing Jaya for this all are awesome! :) my manager[hehe] harris, asri, sakura,.....& so on before, make up artist[lina..miss ya!], Jaya team [too many names to knw who you are], & to all my friends who've been very supportive...i love you & i miss you all! :)

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

How Serious Is It...

This is a response to the Racial Politics & Brain Drain previous post.

It really bug me & struck a sense of foreboding trouble impending. The article really says it all & there's really nothing new i can point out but one thing for sure is that it's a very serious problem & if no appropriate measure of action taken, it would cause our country a grave problems in a long run.

To incur the idea of unity & equal shares planted on each & every one of us here, is not an easy task if there is always the question of being first & original inhabitants of the land we called Malaysia. After all, all of our ancestors must have been migrated & moves from wherever origin they were from before. Even history can only estimate & speculate. How do you know for sure?

It's already become a common thing everywhere that if you are from the same place or speaks in equal language, then you'll be prioritize.

Being a so-called bumiputera (i'm a Kadazan Dusun) & supposedly have all the equal right we've been talking about, truthfully, it doesn't really applied the same as the so-named bumiputera you all know who. I am being shadowed by the thoughts of bumiputera protection & yet i'm still crawling my way into any place in which that protection applied. It just doesn't really applied to everyone even in the name of being Bumi.

I can whine all day... but that would only waste my time & change the direction on which this post supposes to settle at the first place. All i'm saying is that, we can't keep running away whenever injustice occurs. Try to find a way to straighten it back for our very existence to become relevant. We still have our generation ahead to think's for the greater good.

One thing i'm glad of in spite of above crisis, is that i'm a Sabahan where people there welcome the prospect of unity much better than on the other side of the country. Even if we may be the poorest & at the rear of development, we live together peacefully regardless of how much different our mother tongue could be.

Just wishing we are not going to feel content on just that forever but start improving Sabahan people as a whole into much higher state of living & intelligence, for our own good.

Racial politics and Brain Drain

from the Economist.

The most important asset of a country is not its natural resources, but rather human resources. This is especially true in a knowledge based economy, which of course will be the trend in future if not already the trend in most of the western countries.

My daughter, who is in her final year medicine in Auckland, told me that a team of Singapore recruitment officers have just visited Auckland and talked to the Malaysian students there, offering job and training prospect for the final year students once they graduate. My daughter also told me that over the last few years, quite a lot of her Malaysian seniors, after graduating from medical courses in NZ, have gone to Singapore to work as house-officers and subsequently stayed back in Singapore for their postgraduate training.

Similar teams are sent to Australia and UK for recruiting Malaysians there to work in Singapore.

About a year ago, in one of the articles in Reuters, this was reported:

Malaysia is counting on bright, ambitious people like Tan Chye Ling for its future, to lead it away from manufacturing and into the knowledge age.

But the 32-year-old scientist, a post-graduate in molecular biology, is not counting on Malaysia to look after her future.

'I felt very suppressed in Malaysia,' said Tan, who moved to neighboring Singapore, the region's pace-setter for biotech investment, after a decade of study and research in Malaysia.

'I have benefited from the better research environment and salary scheme here. Things are much smoother,' she said by phone from the National University of Singapore where she is studying dust mites and allergies.

Tan estimates that 60 percent of the research teams she works with in Singapore are from Malaysia, despite her country's efforts over several years to develop a biotech industry.

The Malaysian government unveiled plans last March to spend $553.3 million over five years to boost research, attract foreign investment and build new facilities. But its efforts are wasted unless it can retain more talented people like Tan.

'By the time we have the research environment in place, every other country would have taken a slice of the biotech investment pie,' said Iskandar Mizal, head of the state-run Malaysian Biotech Corporation which oversees the government's strategy.

There is a serious problem facing Malayia and that is the problem of Brain Drain.

Why are Malaysians overseas not coming back to work?

Well, pay may be part of the reasons but is not the main reason. Singapore recruitment team offered Malaysian students there a salary which is a few times they would expect to get in Malaysia….S$40,000 a yr for houseman after tax (equivalent to RM86000) which is about 5 times the pay of a houseman in Malaysia.

But, as I say, pay is not the main problem. The living expenses overseas are higher. And for a person working overseas, the loneliness and the stress level is also much higher. So not everyone opts to work overseas because of pay. Many would not mind to work for lesser pay if they can stay near to their loved ones.

Why do people choose to work overseas, away from their loved ones ?

Malaysia has many state-of-the-art hospitals and research centres, which may even be the envy of many overseas countries. But hardware alone would not attract these experts o come home. In the medical fields, I have so many friends /classmates working overseas, many in world renowned centres. Why do they do that?

Some of my classmates and friends did come back as specialists. After working a few years ( many lasted a few months) , most get disillusioned and went off. There is really not much prospect of career advancement. How many can hope to become a professor, even when they are an acknowledged expert in their field? On the other hand , lesser beings are being promoted to professorship for doing much less.

How many of them can have any say about how things are to be run? How many of them can blend into the local team where the work attitude is vastly different from that overseas?

There is an unwritten rule that even if the person is very good, the head of the team has to be someone from a certain ethnic group who may not even be half as good as him.

In everyday life, some become disillusioned with the corruption, the red tape and tidak apa attitude of the officialdom. For an overseas doctor applying to work home, the application can take up to 6 months to get approved, whereas, Singapore sends teams overseas to recruit them on the spot, giving them forms to fill and offering them jobs immediately as long as they pass their final examination. See the difference?

It is the sense of being wanted and being appreciated that make these people stay overseas. Back here, they are often made to feel that they are of a lower class; they do not feel wanted and they do not feel appreciated…. That is the main reason.

For those with children , the education system puts them off. Even school children can feel being discriminated, one glaring example is the 2 systems in PreUniversity education.

All these make them pack their bags and off they go again, leaving behind their parents perhaps, siblings,friends they grew up together, favouite food that is often not available overseas. No one likes to be like this; circumstances and a sense of being recognised for their worth make them go away…It is really sad.

Parents spend huge amount of money educating them, but the ones who benefit are the Singaporeans, the Americans, the Australians, the British and so on. As long as race politics is not done away with, this problem of brain drain will continue and Malaysia will always lack behind the advanced countries, no matter how many twin towers and Putrajayas we build.

p/s i get this article from my friend Guz on mail so i'm not really sure where the source are from. i have to copy paste it here because i strongly believe it's important for all of us to know.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Chelsea after Portugal? why......

So this is how the line up of Chelsea going to be this time...
Frankly speaking, i'm really not a Chelsea fan..i actually kinda hate some of the players because of some die hard Chelsea fan yg bikin panas...
But really... of all the club in the football world. They all (most of the players) went there! My favorite team in the world... :) PORTUGAL!

my two great defenders...

Most beloved, Deco adding to the already present Carvalho & Ferreira...

i will follow you... :)

following next is Bosingwa whom for me, play really amazing during Euro 08...

with determination...

and the most vital moves of all...even my favorite coach comes along... [sigh] This means, like it or not, i have to watch & keep track of Chelsea now on EPL.

My Favorite Coach...

Regardless of my displeasure against the signing, i actually can't wait for them to play on their 1st match against Portsmouth. I desperately want them to win & all my favorite players to play well to prove to all the doubters about their abilities. It's kinda scary reading all those comments & writings saying that this could be the toughest job Scolari's ever had & his unfamiliarity with everything that comes with managing an EPL team, including the language, will add to the pressures, but i have faith in him just like how he's been so wonderful on Portugal before.

I know it sound totally off the point for Chelsea but i don't care!!
Go Portugal!! hehe :)

Monday, July 28, 2008

Duffy. i heard you...:)

I first heard it on liteFM & fell in love with the song right on. I've been searching for it & it's not easy as i'm not sure who are the singer & the song title. So randomly i type the lyrics i vaguely remember & look out for artist that i know sound like that but to no avail. Then i try my luck on & yeay!!! there you go~ even the complete biography of Aimee Anne Duffy or popularly known as Duffy. Some people may compare her to Amy Winehouse, but for me, she sound better plus more likeable... :)

Call me old-fashioned. i don't care~ hehe...i love this song & also the likes of Michael Buble (Lost, Everything, Home) & Norah Jones (particularly the What Am I To You) I was actually mindlessly picturing myself on the stage singing just like this kind of music... it's only that i don't have that classic sound type of voice. [sigh] but no matter... no matter... i still love it! hehe

It's really amazing when at one time i'm all moody-gloomy & the next thing is i'm all helplessly happy & on top of my voice trying to sing the song. owh...i'm in such a good mood today with the Warwick Avenue playing 24 7 on my playlist.


Sunday, July 27, 2008

Being In Love...

Being "in love" is wonderful. You smile more. You laugh spontaneously. Your step is livelier. Common everyday things - activities you've done for years seem wonderfully different. And all things are "right" in your world. In other words, happiness is at an all-time high.

But often it doesn’t last long no matter how much you wanted to spend your lifetime together & ready to sacrifice almost anything for the person you love. It caught you off guard & suddenly you are not together anymore.

I’m not pretty sure why I’m writing about this topic again because the last time I did, it was for the right reason and after a while, I deleted all of it from my blog. Shouldn’t have done so I think, for at least it may ease and find a way into other people’s heart. Words of others who’ve been in the same spot used to make me feel much way better before through the hard times & bitter moments.

Now…I guess I just want to share again in a different perspective as a healed broken hearted person. Well, not exactly cured because it never did for this particular area in person’s life.

But maybe at least not being one sided & bias in opinion of whose fault & who to blame, what I should have know & what I should have done…all those things.

Everyone has been broken by someone just like each of us must have broke people hearts too. I did. That’s how I think it makes it more bearable to be hurt & cheated by someone because you knew how terribly guilty & wrong it makes you feel when you are the one doing it & that somehow you deserve to be in what you did to others before…especially if it’s the same person.

Almost everyone will tell you that only time can cure a broken heart. It’s so typically cliché but it does happen to be true. Some relationships are harder to get over than others in each point of our life. We may choose some of it to be the love of our life & some for moments to have fun. All the same, the process of healing a broken heart never been easy but of course it can be done. Thinking back, I almost forgot how long has it been for me... 1, 2, 3…it’s been half a year, or exactly 190days 15hours 25minutes and 50seconds at this point of lines of this blog.

Now… did I hate him? The answer is no. I still miss him from times to times but I can never get to hate him after all that had happen. I tried everyday not to blame myself or him for the cause of the breaking even if I happen to know from others that he blame it all on me. Its hard at the beginning knowing that he think that way, but after a while, I thought to myself that, he can think all he want to as a way of getting over it or maybe just how he wanted things to end. Cause it may be the only way to make him feel better…if it so, then let it be.

I still remember how hard I cry at those times. I didn’t sleep for days and feel like a dead body walking around. Every time I did have some sleep, only to be awaken by dreams of him & the girl holding hands & being with each other. I actually started to think I have some gifts at dreaming the future because the next day, friends would call me and text me saying they saw him dating together. [duh] Owh… how bad do you think it makes me feel at that times. Even before, I once dream bout him being with another girl in a club and the next day, when I teasingly ask him about it, he actually confessed that he did met his ex girl the night before. So it really hurt after the break up, whenever I dreamed about it especially when it feel so real & I woke up crying because then I know it’s realy happening at that moment or the next day. I sometimes cried so hard in my pray asking why did i have to know all that.

For the early weeks, I didn’t so much as tell anyone about the break up. I never quite sure why because every time I had that kind of ordeal before, I usually share it with my friends to make me feel much better. Maybe that time I didn’t know how to say it or didn’t know I can bear to tell about it to anyone. But after a while, I start opening up & my family & friends have been great. I get all the girlfriends together, cry it out, watch movies, and badmouth him saying all those inappropriate swear and alone at home, I gather all the courage to look again to things and throw all pictures and everything else that reminds me of him. It did help a lot to start a new day everyday looking at absolutely everywhere & didn’t see anything that can make me think of him.

After a while, I stop thinking about what makes me sad and realize that analyzing what went wrong will only make it worse. Me and him probably didn't do anything wrong, people just grow apart sometimes.

Well, enough of my past love-broken-story. Just keep in mind to anyone out there that at this very moment feels like it’s the end of the world… I know it hurts like hell to the point of tears, but there is no magic cure, you need to live through it the best you can. When you are over it, you will have gained a great and wonderful experience. It will make you stronger emotionally, wiser in love and you can take yourself more lightly. Go ahead, have a good cry, it's very therapeutic.

Woman... spend money & pick up the next guy in the bar.
For men...spend money & pick up the next slut in the bar..........................ok. I know. Just kidding.

But never afraid to go wild and started dating again & get the butterflies back whenever you notice someone thinks you are hot and sexy. Don’t stay but linger a moment, don’t promise anything but be free as long as you want it to be. But keep in mind to be honest & put things straight that you are just trying to have a good comfortable time in a presence of a great person. Last thing you need is hurting someone when you know yourself how exactly that would feel.

Just a thought though… everyone have their own way of dealing with the pain. Don’t just do what others tell you what you think feels right, what you think you wanted to do. This is not so much of a psychiatric advice. Just thought it may brings some different to some people. We all deserve to be happy. Why think so much of the lost love & past memories when you can live and find new love & get new memories. Sometimes, giving up doesn't always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go.

Claire-May 19 (taken from my friendster blog)

St Anne

went to St Anne feast yesterday... it's still the same like previous years but was less people on the afternoon. Notice many police & traffics being around the area & i was wondering why suddenly these guys were keeping a watch at the event..i didn't see any of them years before. We walk around the stalls & the hill where usual procession done & at 6pm attended the mass. Just after the novena & at the start of the mass, Alex said to me that Henry saw the chief minister coming & sit at the front row. Truly enough, the commentator then announce & thanks Lim Guan Eng for visiting the church then. Everyone applaud & the mass started. I was craning my neck every now & then to catch a glimpse of the chief minister as we were seated at the back of the seats.

This is distracting. How am I suppose to stay demure & serene throughout this mass? Hehe…Some guys were taking pictures here & there & interestingly, half throughout the mass, a guy carrying the Astro cam comes in & again I was scanning him taking videos. [sigh]

Then the chief minister leave together with all the other adun just before the communion end.

Roughly the message of the homily was to look at St Anne as a figure of example for mothers or leader on how to educate & teach people especially children.

After the mass, we take pictures around & went for dinner together. Then we decided whether to go watch movie or karaoke. We went to the latter...

Still quite dizzy now for lack of sleep…maybe I’ll update later….[yawn]

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

The Sad Butterfly

A lot of things have been bothering me lately, I wanted to post something here for days now but I keep on coming to a dead end.

The thing is, there were just this moment when sometimes I desperately wanted to feel happy in abundance…not like thinking that I’m happy & so that was supposed to makes me feel happy…being positive isn’t going to work most of the time…if you just feel something is amiss, u can’t just think of a clown and smile.. Somehow the clown would turn to boggart and nothing would actually feel alright. There are so many things I wanted to tell someone, obviously I can’t just share about it here…but try I did like now, hoping it would lighten up a bit of the murky feelings I have inside.


I tried to be positive. I do. Somehow it just would get dampen much too sooner than I expect it to last. First thing I was trying to make a joke, the next thing I knew, it’s making a joke out of me, hitting home.

Sometimes I did things I was not supposed to be doing. Just thought it would make me feel much better…or to keep in rest about what’s bothering me for a while. But only too often, it makes things worse. I know they said mistake is one way of self improvement to build a strong emotional or intellectual foundation. But how do you deal with it at present? How am I going to live with the guilt & regrets for the rest of my life until I can finally say….yes, I’m so over that. How?

I know…. I should use the things I told my friends or anyone whenever they are the one in doubt. I should practice the advice I’ve been telling around. Saying how it’s going to be okay in the end…that I’ll just have to make my way through it. Deal with it. Not ignoring the pain & making another mistake. [sigh again]

I sound pathetic & I actually think that I am.

p/s wel….nti la sy post psl politik2 lg k…just not in the right state of mind ni..hehe

vera i know u tagged me.thanks. been hoping to look for pics that smile. nti sy buat k..

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Debate itself the winner in Anwar-Shabery duel

It doesn't matter who the winner was in the first-ever American-style live TV debate in the country tonight — with Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim and Datuk Ahmad Shabery Cheek taking centrestage to argue about fuel price hikes. The real winner was the debate itself.

Concluded quickly within an hour with a format quite similar to the American presidential candidate debates, with a rostrum each for the debater on stage, the most glaring thing for all to see was the quality of debate.

Some may say Anwar, the de facto leader of Parti Keadilan Rakyat, won the debate as he focused on the issue at hand — the fuel price hike — while Ahmad Shabery, the Information Minister, seemed to take cheap shots at Anwar especially his younger days as a rabble rouser.

Anwar proposed to reduce the current petrol pump price by 50 sen the moment his opposition coalition of PKR, PAS and DAP take over the Federal Government.

"Petronas has announced a special dividend RM6 billion to the government for this year. Why can't I take RM1 billion of that to reduce the petrol price by 50 sen?" he said to applause from a section of the 300-strong audience in the Dewan Bahasa and Pustaka Hall in Kuala Lumpur.

Elaborating further, he promised to slash pump prices further once his Pakatan Rakyat coalition took over, saying it is an initial 50 sen because the Barisan Nasional government had just hiked prices by 70 sen from RM1.92 per litre previously.

The former deputy prime minister made it clear from the start of the debate that he was not questioning national oil company Petronas but his criticisms were directed at the BN government which he alleged was rife with mismanagement and economic abuse, citing Malaysia's high electricity reserves as a waste as it only benefited the independent power producers (IPPs).

He argued the government could save RM2 billion from reducing electricity reserves, adding an additional RM3 billion to finance the 50-sen reduction can be sourced elsewhere. "Five billion is enough to help lighten the burden on the rakyat. The Perwaja bailout was RM13 billion of government money."

In his reply, Ahmad Shabery argued that "if we continue at RM1.92, it means the government is forced to bear the subsidy of RM50 billion and this means many development programmes, building of schools, roads and improving people's livelihood cannot be implemented.”

"We should know that the price increase is not our doing but due to the world oil price crisis. This is not the first time we have had a world oil crisis. The first time was in 1973-74 when after the Arab-Israeli Ramadan war. Oil price increased by 400 per cent, from US$10 a barrel to US$40 in six months.

"But it was also an important year because the late Tun Razak (the then Prime Minister) set up Petronas in a pressured situation because the world outside pressured us not to take away the rights given to Shell at that time. Shell was set up by the British before they left," he said, also to applause from his supporters.

The information minister also explained that subsidies could not be sustained for a long time because it would hamper real economic growth.

In a question-and-answer session, Ahmad Shabery was asked about the RM4.3 billion savings from an earlier fuel price increase in 2006 that was meant to be used to improve public transport but only RM834 million was used for that purpose, leading people to be cynical about the purported RM13 billion in savings in the latest subsidy cut.

The minister dismissed the question, saying that in 2006 the international fuel price was just US$70 a barrel whereas it has now reached US$140 a barrel, and went on to argue that countries such as Venezuela and Iran which heavily subsidised fuel had very high inflation rates.

Anwar however argued that Malaysia's real inflation rate of some eight per cent was caused by economic mismanagement, not by the global oil price increase. "If the Barisan Nasional says that the fuel price can be increased in a sudden and it will not be followed by increasing price of goods and services, I want to know who teaches them this kind of economic management.

"We're an oil-producing country and for every US$1 increase per barrel, we make RM360 million. Why can't we do something good with this?" Anwar thundered.

To this, Ahmad Shabery argued that Malaysia was not even in the top 20 oil-producing countries list, let alone a major player.

"We're just a small nett exporter of oil. Our profits are only 26 per cent of our oil revenue. The rest we received from the (Petronas) investments. By 2015, when we become a nett importer of oil, will we then adhere to the global price?"

In reply, Anwar said: "Who told us that our oil will deplete in 2015? Thirty years ago Petronas projected that our oil will run out by 2005. It's just a projection. It is based on not finding new oil fields. I believe we have a lot more capacity."

When Ahmad Shabery pointed out that Anwar too was responsible for problems pertaining to the IPPs which are still reaping profits despite the current economic situation as he was a Cabinet minister then, the former finance minister demanded a check of record to prove that he had opposed the IPP plans approved by former premier Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad.

Towards the end of the debate, Ahmad Shabery repeated his argument that Anwar was still a rabble rouser and that during Anwar's time in the government he would never allowed others, especially the opposition, to participate in an open debate such as the one held tonight.

Ahmad Shabery had earlier accused Anwar of inciting the people to rise up against the government over claims of poverty in Baling, Kedah in 1974.

Pointing out these were cheap shots, Anwar explained that he was here to debate an economic issue only but would be willing to debate on other matters, including personal allegations against him, at another forum.

Besides a minor fracas before the start of the debate outside the hall as well as a very heavy police presence around the building and the surrounding area, the event, organised by was a largely peaceful event. It was telecast live on TV9 and Astro channels 119, 501 and 502 apart from being webcast by IP Global TV.

By Wan Hamidi Hamid

My Opinion...........
This response or report to the debate held last night is by far the best i think..others either being biased (the star) or not updated yet (mkini)..
Well all i can say is that you know a lost cause when you see one... no matter what debate, forum or open dialogue held for whatever reason behind, it won't do if the present gov is still in power. All they do is making excuses & pretending they still the gods of power... [sigh]
Anyway i enjoy DSAI plain, cool, straighforward and simple argument, his message is clear...that the people is suffering, something need to be done and that is reducing the fuel price ASAP...and what message did shabery cheek pointing on n on?...personal attacks, icon worshipping (Tun Razak, Tun Mahathir), 'don't apologise, blame market forces' standings...
Quoting people status on yahoo messenger - cakap camtu pun leh jadi menteri ka? hehe..u judge!

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Perdebatan Isu Harga Minyak

Perdebatan Isu Harga Minyak antara Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim dan Dato' Ahmad Shabery Cheek - 15 Julai 08, 9.00mlm

O my goat~! tu kesimpulan yg dpt sy buat selepas perdebatan yg sepatutnya dapat memberi penyelesaian atau interaksi yang berguna antara kerajaan memerintah dan wakil suara hati rakyat M'sia menjadi sebaliknya. Kelihatan seolah2 kerajaan yang konon nya terbuka dan memberi peluang bersuara menjadikan ruang ini satu peluang untuk mereka tetap mempertahankan kenaikan minyak dan memberi alasan kepada masalah dan isu yang dibangkit kan..i thought it's all about trying to figure out the problems and effects of the fuel hike..but sadly it's not..DSA tried though. I don't really want to comments much nti nda silap2 kena sedition act. hehe

But it's still a good & worth watching debate.. :)

Will update again on this...

The morning skirt...

As I put on my working skirt this morning, I found it to be a little bit tighter on the waist…I couldn’t believe I can get anymore fatter than 54kg…come on…a few glass of beer at Kedai Dusun can’t be that fattening…[sigh]

So…I was wondering actually what topics will I be putting here on my blog. Most of the time I post politics issues to the boring-boring loop on mail during work…mmm maybe that would be one of it…and I love books…so maybe I can post about that too…animals…Charity…Sports…What else….mmm owh! Maybe I should also put in about all those great & wonderful places that have been waiting for my feet to step on its soil….yet. [smug]
Or maybe just everyday bits of stuff that happen to me…uuu…can’t wait…but also can’t seem to express it well on words..i guess I just need more practice…caiyo!

O ya..i was watching Kung Fu Panda last’s hilarious & I actually watched it twice in a row…hihi personally i think it’s a very good and well done film…the turtle, Master Oogway on it was saying…
“Yesterday is history… Tomorrow is a mystery… Today is a gift. That is why it is called the present...” nice one…

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Hi Guys!

Officially! I managed to setup my own blog! Will update soon...