How To Deal With Negative, Difficult Person.

" I think the scariest person in the world is the person with no sense of humor. So that's a test. If you have doubts about someone, lay on a couple of jokes. if he doesn't find anything funny, your radar should be screaming. Then I would say be patient with people who are negative, because they're really having a hard time."

- Michael J.Fox.

My Blueberry Nights

And........I'm back. Good as new.

It's really is a good thing that I enjoy movies as much as I love books. I can always depend on them to have a laugh, to cry over a touchy moments, to relate on some of the incidents and to always help me to restart my thoughts all over again.

It's My Blueberry Nights for tonight and you can see my favorite singer Norah Jones in it. I never knew she could act. She's actually quite good and looked very pretty in the movie as she is in real life. Jude Law is in it too. As well as Natalie Portman and Rachel Weisz. There you have it.

It was pretty slow in the beginning and throughout the movie but it suits me just fine with the mood I was in earlier.

Here's some of my favorite quotes in the movie.

Elizabeth: When you're gone, all that is left behind are the memories you created in other people's lives or just a couple of items on a bill.

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Elizabeth: The last few days, I've been learning not to trust people and I'm glad I've failed. Sometimes we depend on other people as a mirror to define us and tell us who we are and each reflection makes me like myself a little more.

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Katya: Sometimes, even if you have the keys those doors still can't be opened. Can they?
Jeremy: Even if the door is open, the person you're looking for may not be there, Katya.

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Jeremy: From my observations, sometimes it's better off not knowing, and other times there's no reason to be found.
Elizabeth: Everything has a reason.
Jeremy: Hmm. It's like these pies and cakes. At the end of every night, the cheesecake and the apple pie are always completely gone. The peach cobbler and the chocolate mousse cake are nearly finished... but there's always a whole blueberry pie left untouched.
Elizabeth: So what's wrong with the blueberry pie?
Jeremy: There's nothing wrong with the blueberry pie. Just... people make other choices. You can't blame the blueberry pie, just... no one wants it.



There's a lot more in that film. And it's fun to see how cocky Natalie Portman can be at a game of Poker.

I'm glad that I don't have to be in a complicated thoughts before sleep tonight.

Good night everyone.

Untitled.

I don't really feel so good today.

The day started quite okay but somehow it changed and now I just feel...low.

I'm quite a sport about many things and rarely ever want to lose my head over something. If I can just rationalize things a little patiently, I'll be as happy as a clam in no time. Even though one of my close friends once said that I am probably the most sensitive girl in the world, no one actually really saw it through me because I don't often get worked up over something that did not matter much to me. Most of the time, I am just a happy mind-my-own-business type of person.

But then, everyone have their own moody time. Even me. Especially me. I just know how to hide the emotion better than most people.

With things going on in my mind, suddenly I feel small and stupid. About actions that I have made previously. The way I thought so much about petty things and so on. Plus, there's a major self esteem issues going on with me at this very moment. I don't really feel pretty. And for the first time, there's a few things that I started to hate about myself.

Every once in a while, people would tell me that I'm starting to look fat or that my ass is a bit small or they think there's something wrong with the way I walk, but I never actually really care much about other people's opinion when it comes to looks and physical attributes. So it's all fine. But not today. Right now, if someone says that they think I look tired today, I'll take it that they mean I look like an ugly ghost and that I should have think twice before deciding to open the door and go to work this morning to save everyone from having to torture their eyes with the very sight of me. That thought alone actually pisses me off right now. Shit.
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Sigh.

I know perfectly well that no matter what I do, how I dress, how I act, what I say, or what my opinions are, people would only choose to think what suited them the most. Some guys, for example, will look at me and wonder why their friends think that I'm attractive. Others will think I look more like an alien from another planet than as an actual human being. So I might as well just be myself, and gravitate towards those who really accept me just the way I am. You'll be surprise how judgmental anyone can be these days. Even families or close friends.

It's kind of embarrassing to feel this way. I always thought that no one will ever get under my skin with matters as trivial as this. Sigh. I guess today is the day that it happen.

Starry Starry Night

I have not been getting enough sleep these last few days...drinking milk was no help and reading a book certainly didn't do anything good either. I think I should have a stock of beer ready in the fridge but then there's the bulgy belly so...no thanks.

I feel like a living dead walking on a silent creepy grave on the hill kind of thing. My eyes is like a panda. Dark circles so obvious you would have thought it's the real deal. So really going to sleep early tonight. I mean right now. Good night everybody. Peace and out. Zzz

Peace. Love. Empathy.

After reading Mel's post about death, I can't help but feel a sensation of apprehension deep in my chest thinking about those things that I'm putting aside whether because I don't really know what to do about them or if it's because there's nothing I can do to make it the way it should be. Either way, there should be something, small as it may be that I can do to make a little difference but I'm just not sure.

I have been trying to live my life without ever taking anything or anyone for granted. I may not always like that but I tried and still trying. Everything I own now, they may be gone tomorrow. The nice little earring I bought the other day may be lost while I'm busy looking for things and it get stuck among the rubbish and I may accidentally throw it away.

People that I love, how sure am I that I can have them next to me forever? I can't. I know.

It would have been so much easier if everyone really mean what they say and learn to listen with empathy. I did not do that every time but I wanted to. I want to call my sister now and tell her I'm sorry that things turn out this way and that all mom and I want is for us to be happy. That if we may have failed her in any way, we never meant it to be that way.

But even when I'm going to say that with nothing but honest intention, I can't be sure that she'll listen to the sincerity of those words. It easier to play the blame game and keep on doing what you simply feel like doing regardless of whether it's the right thing or not.

And there are those matters that's still not settled. Friends. Enemy. Loved ones. Relatives. Haters. Admirers.

But then they said there's just some things that's better left unsaid.

Hmm.


On not so different matter, there's this movie titled Mr. Nobody starring Jared Leto which show us the many different lives one person can live, depending on the choices he makes every step of the way.

The possibilities is just endless and it makes us see life in an interesting way. There are good or bad choices in life and each choice will create another life for you. It makes me think that maybe there's a very good reason behind all these uncertainty and unknown possibilities. Because when you know everything, then what's the point?

In the movie, the angel missed the marking on him when he was...I guess that was in heaven so he knows everything. He know the sort of life he'll live if he make certain choice. And at the final scene, because he knows, he can't bring himself to pick which life he wants. So he ran away.

And I guess by running away, it is also another one of those different life. No?

It's a very interesting movie and if you have decided to watch it, then I hope you will enjoy watching it.

Leaving it to you to define it.

'...pure unashamed passion. Without definable restrictions.'
'I'm sorry to say I have a few issues with that.'
'Why?'
'Because, some have there to suggest. That even poetry have rules.'
'Or you make your own.'
'Right there, that's the part I never bought into.'
'Because?'
'Because if everybody runs around making their own rules, how can you... find what's true? There's nothing to rely on.'
'Maybe what's true is in front of us and we're moving toward it without even knowing it's there. Once you think you've got it all solved, what's left?'

- Edward Norton & Keri Russell in the movie Leaves of Grass based on book of poetry by Walt Whitman .

I'll leave you with the OST from the movie. Enjoy.

To Love A Woman

I saw Daniel's post about Enrique Iglesias's song and it remind me of this one song of him together with Lionel Richie that I really like back then.

Beautiful lyrics and awesome voices. Both of them.

First...

Go not to the temple to put flowers upon the feet of God,
First fill your own house with the Fragrance of Love...

Go not to the temple to light candles before the altar of God,
First remove the darkness of sin from your heart...

Go not to the temple to bow down your head in prayer,
First learn to bow in humility before your fellowmen...

Go not to the temple to pray on bended knees,
First bend down to lift someone who is down-trodden...

Go not to the temple to ask for forgiveness for your sins,
First forgive from your heart those who have sinned against you.

- Rabindranath Tagore