I'm not really feeling enthusiastic about work today. My nose is stuffy and I have to let go a dry cough and inhale deeply to take a breath of air. I felt unreasonably tired and my eyes are heavy as if asking me to take a rest and have a good sleep. Uhuk..uhuk..ehemm..ehemm..

Of Many Things...

Sist and her kids have gone back to her husband's hometown. Mom is alone again at home. I called her up and we had a really nice talk.

We talked about many things. Baby Ryan is growing up fast and getting so funny and bikin gerigitan. He gets so cheeky at trying not to get caught hiding the paper plane he plan to throw at the neighbour's cat. Or gets teary eyed and using his baby-power of being adorable and run quickly to hug you as some kind of a sorry act just before you are about to do some spanking. Bless him. Ian is his usual self, not really care much about the fuss and everything except for a must have Milo on every trip to the grocery store and the latest i'm-not-quite-sure-what-the-name-was candy kids are apparently gets so crazy nowadays.

Nanak is also still at her usual rant of "Mama, kau sayang aku?" or "Oh, kau sayang baby sama Ian seja skg kan. Aku nda mau tolong kau suda lah." everytime she's getting in a quarrel with anyone in the house. Typical Nanak. Adi Kecil is getting more cunning each day. Being good to you if she want to tag along when you are going out and ignore you right away once she's safely home with all the goodies she manage to put her hands on.

And it was Christmas mood. Mom was asking whether to change the green christmas tree to a white one this year, on plans for a type of dishes during family gathering and what I should get for the kids for christmas presents and so on. Looking forward to being back home now. :)  

I told Mom about the singing performance in the company and I was pleasantly suprised that she actually remember one of the song.

"Saya nyanyi tu lagu yang saya ikut pertandingan di Central dulu tu." 
"I Turn To You kah?" She said.

It was like 5 years ago or something. She has always been so supportive of me in singing.

Then I'm not quite sure how we came to the matter of marriage and kids and when I gently told her that I may not be getting married in near future, or maybe ever, she was still quite a sport about it like how she did all this while. I guess she always know that I have my own way of looking at things in life and she respected that. What suprised me the most was when I told her that if I never get to meet someone who likes me enough to marry me, then I may want to consider just having a baby and be a single mother, we were actually discussing about how to make it happen! Haha...but still as a mother, I know she would like it for me to settle down with a nice guy and have a good marriage but at the same time, still open with anything that I may decide. Love her so much. :)

When we get to the point of talking about the recent accident, I think that we were both trying to hold our emotion and trying not to cry on the phone. The thought of Nanak getting hurt and scared like that really makes me and Mom emotional and very protective. It's just obvious even among the family member that we both really thought of Nanak as our own daughter and that we love her so much.

I was trying to hold my tears when Mom recall the story of the accident and also the kindness of the guy and his girlfriend who help them all throughout the entire process of taking them to the hospital, waiting up in the hospital together, even asking Mom to just rest and took charge of consulting with the doctors and sending them home. When Mom was at loss for words feeling so touch by their kindness, they actually went and hug Mom just to say that everything is allright and checking up on Nanak after a few days just to see how she's doing. We were just feeling so lucky and grateful to meet someone like them. I told Mom that we should invite them to our family gathering this year. I really want to meet these two lovely souls in person.

And...after almost two hours talking on the phone, nasib baik dua-dua mau p kancing kalau nda tia pandai putus-putus bercerita. Haha

Everywhere

It went well on both days. I am so happy with all the feedback so far. Everyone has enjoy the performance. 

Hee hee...

Because You Love Me

That was the song.

After quite some time...I got a chance to sing for an event again. I was quite nervous and I think it shows.

It was a bit embarassing.

I'm singing again tomorrow, for the second day of the event and I hope I'm done with the nervousness by then. I just prepared for one song each day but maybe I have to sing two songs tomorrow. I have pick another quite an easy song and I'm hoping I can deliver it well.

I really love singing and the best part out of it is when I know that people enjoyed it. I always have this idea of just performing and singing but I don't have to be like a commercial artist or something. Just singing. And making people happy.

I'm really grateful everytime I'm given a chance to sing a song, entertaining people despite feeling anxious once in a while. I'm quite excited for tomorrow and really really want to do the best I can. Wish me luck!

Last Night...

When it ended, I could feel my chest hurting and I was short of breath. Everything I felt before I opened my eyes, I could still feel every sensation of it, physically and emotionally. I almost cried trying to ease it away, assuring myself that it was just a dream. And the first thing I did instinctively once I woke up was trying to get away.

I guess what happen was, I was dreaming about something that I know have been bothering me but I never really talk about it and I just let it rest deep inside my subconscious mind. I know it may probably start sounding like something you get from the movie Inception but we all knows that some part of that movie is true.

And I still couldn't shake everything away, every flash of scene, every faces seen and every felt emotion. I had this kind of dream before. And what really hurt about it was, it may not even happen yet but it will and I'll know for sure a few days later. Like a call from a friend. Or a confession. The gut feeling you have just right after waking up.

10Km Run..

...for Penang Bridge International Marathon 2010.

I was able to finish within 1 hour 30 minutes and got my finisher medal.

Yay!

Update: Official time is 1hr 15min. If I really train starting from now, I can think of joining the 21Km next year. The only thing is...bikin penat ba tu lama betul mo lari...kin malas betul. Aishhhh... :-D

Accident

Mom called at 3.00am today. She couldn't sleep. And after that it was hard for me to sleep either.

They had an accident at around 11pm last night. She and my niece, Lisa. I could feel my heart skipped a beat when I heard that. I mean this is going to be the second time Lisa is involved in a car accident. And looks like both, she had the worst. When it happened last year, she was stuck beneath the car tyre. This time, she was thrown out from the car. I have to literally close my eyes to shake away the feeling of panic and tried listening to my mom talking on the phone. I couldn't thank God enough that mom and Lisa are alright. Mom was feeling chest pain due to the impact and Lisa got cuts and bruises but otherwise fine.

They were on their way to the airport to fetch my cousin and my uncle was driving. They stopped at the red traffic light but looks like a mad girl with a P license was trying to run the red light and slammed the side of the car on the back passenger side, to where Lisa was sitting. The car spun twice. Mom was in shock and I think she lose consciousness for a slight second and only realize that Lisa was gone when she saw the back door opened and Lisa was nowhere in sight. Malam lagi tu. Sakit jantung aku fikir. She tried going out from the car but the door was stuck. Things do tend to get worse when something bad is happening. Sigh.

After Lisa was thrown out from the car, I guess she panic and all she can think of was the last accident so she get up and ran away, so afraid that the same thing might happened again but the problem was, she was running in panic and it was dark and raining and anything could happen. Luckily, there's a very kind man who saw the whole thing and ran to get Lisa and carry her to mom. He then offered to send Lisa to the hospital. Him and his girlfriend was so kind and attentive to both Lisa and mom that I could feel the rush of gratitude towards both of them.

"I feel like she is my own daughter. The way she put the sweater over Lisa when she's in cold, hugging her close and holding her feet between her palms to keep Lisa warm, and the words she spoken to me. I'm so grateful I wish I have done something for their kindness." My mom said that to me on the phone.

It's okay mom. You were in shock. Let us keep them in our prayer for their kindness.

That night, I wish it had all happen to me instead. Kesian bah. Lisa, still so small and have to endure that kind of experience. Twice.God knows I love her and mom more than anything in this world. I'm so grateful that both of them are okay.

Thank you Lord for everything. And God bless the two good Samaritan and keep them safe in whatever they are doing.

Coincidence, that's all anything ever is, nothing more than coincidence.
There are no miracles.
There's no such thing as fate, nothing is meant to be.

Voldy's gone moldy?

I'm an ardent fan of Harry Potter. I admit that. So, my overly excited feelings for the Part 1 of the final movie is totally understandable.

Jom p tgk wayang! Wohooo!

I'll leave you with this quote from Hogwarts' Headmaster:-

"Do not pity the dead, Harry, pity the living. Above all, pity those who live without love. - Albus Dumbledore"

And you can watch the trailer here:-

http://harrypotter.warnerbros.com/harrypotterandthedeathlyhallows/mainsite/index.html

After all is said and done...I sincerely wish and hope for all the happiness in this world for you.

Have a good life.

I'm doing just fine.

 Day 1

 Day 2

 Day 3

 Day 4

 Day 5

 Day 6

Day 7

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You go girl.