But often it doesn’t last long no matter how much you wanted to spend your lifetime together & ready to sacrifice almost anything for the person you love. It caught you off guard & suddenly you are not together anymore.
I’m not pretty sure why I’m writing about this topic again because the last time I did, it was for the right reason and after a while, I deleted all of it from my blog. Shouldn’t have done so I think, for at least it may ease and find a way into other people’s heart. Words of others who’ve been in the same spot used to make me feel much way better before through the hard times & bitter moments.
Now…I guess I just want to share again in a different perspective as a healed broken hearted person. Well, not exactly cured because it never did for this particular area in person’s life.
But maybe at least not being one sided & bias in opinion of whose fault & who to blame, what I should have know & what I should have done…all those things.
Everyone has been broken by someone just like each of us must have broke people hearts too. I did. That’s how I think it makes it more bearable to be hurt & cheated by someone because you knew how terribly guilty & wrong it makes you feel when you are the one doing it & that somehow you deserve to be in what you did to others before…especially if it’s the same person.
Almost everyone will tell you that only time can cure a broken heart. It’s so typically cliché but it does happen to be true. Some relationships are harder to get over than others in each point of our life. We may choose some of it to be the love of our life & some for moments to have fun. All the same, the process of healing a broken heart never been easy but of course it can be done. Thinking back, I almost forgot how long has it been for me... 1, 2, 3…it’s been half a year, or exactly 190days 15hours 25minutes and 50seconds at this point of lines of this blog.
Now… did I hate him? The answer is no. I still miss him from times to times but I can never get to hate him after all that had happen. I tried everyday not to blame myself or him for the cause of the breaking even if I happen to know from others that he blame it all on me. Its hard at the beginning knowing that he think that way, but after a while, I thought to myself that, he can think all he want to as a way of getting over it or maybe just how he wanted things to end. Cause it may be the only way to make him feel better…if it so, then let it be.
I still remember how hard I cry at those times. I didn’t sleep for days and feel like a dead body walking around. Every time I did have some sleep, only to be awaken by dreams of him & the girl holding hands & being with each other. I actually started to think I have some gifts at dreaming the future because the next day, friends would call me and text me saying they saw him dating together. [duh] Owh… how bad do you think it makes me feel at that times. Even before, I once dream bout him being with another girl in a club and the next day, when I teasingly ask him about it, he actually confessed that he did met his ex girl the night before. So it really hurt after the break up, whenever I dreamed about it especially when it feel so real & I woke up crying because then I know it’s realy happening at that moment or the next day. I sometimes cried so hard in my pray asking why did i have to know all that.
For the early weeks, I didn’t so much as tell anyone about the break up. I never quite sure why because every time I had that kind of ordeal before, I usually share it with my friends to make me feel much better. Maybe that time I didn’t know how to say it or didn’t know I can bear to tell about it to anyone. But after a while, I start opening up & my family & friends have been great. I get all the girlfriends together, cry it out, watch movies, and badmouth him saying all those inappropriate swear and alone at home, I gather all the courage to look again to things and throw all pictures and everything else that reminds me of him. It did help a lot to start a new day everyday looking at absolutely everywhere & didn’t see anything that can make me think of him.
After a while, I stop thinking about what makes me sad and realize that analyzing what went wrong will only make it worse. Me and him probably didn't do anything wrong, people just grow apart sometimes.
Well, enough of my past love-broken-story. Just keep in mind to anyone out there that at this very moment feels like it’s the end of the world… I know it hurts like hell to the point of tears, but there is no magic cure, you need to live through it the best you can. When you are over it, you will have gained a great and wonderful experience. It will make you stronger emotionally, wiser in love and you can take yourself more lightly. Go ahead, have a good cry, it's very therapeutic.
Woman... spend money & pick up the next guy in the bar.
For men...spend money & pick up the next slut in the bar..........................ok. I know. Just kidding.
But never afraid to go wild and started dating again & get the butterflies back whenever you notice someone thinks you are hot and sexy. Don’t stay but linger a moment, don’t promise anything but be free as long as you want it to be. But keep in mind to be honest & put things straight that you are just trying to have a good comfortable time in a presence of a great person. Last thing you need is hurting someone when you know yourself how exactly that would feel.
Just a thought though… everyone have their own way of dealing with the pain. Don’t just do what others tell you to...do what you think feels right, what you think you wanted to do. This is not so much of a psychiatric advice. Just thought it may brings some different to some people. We all deserve to be happy. Why think so much of the lost love & past memories when you can live and find new love & get new memories. Sometimes, giving up doesn't always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go.
Claire-May 19 (taken from my friendster blog)
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