I'm Not Okay...

Don't cry.
I can still do this. You just can't break now.

I hear voices in my head trying to keep me strong.
Come on. This is easy. There's no reason why i have to give up now.
I need to go somewhere. Tears are starting to fill my eyes & i can't just be seen weak here.
Toilet. Yes. That's where i go. That's the place everyone goes into for whatever reason they have in mind.

I locked myself up in one of those cubicle & try to breath calmly.
1..2..3..ok. i'm ok. or am i?

I don't really know why I'm being like this today. Well it do happen once in a while. But then, i suppose to know how to handle it.

The weight of responsibilities, dealing with personal matter (some people just add misery in your life), responsibility...responsible... ya, it's all about that actually. My heart feel heavy with unsettle thoughts...so many stuff i can't really say...

I wish i only have to think of myself & get done with whatever it is i wanted in life.
Ok. i know i shouldn't have said that.

Or maybe i wish some people should just leave me alone. Why can't they understand that i've had enough in my mind without them trying to make their way in & push me to tolerate! Everyone have their limit. Maybe people wanted me to be cruel. Ok. I never show that side of me. Maybe i should. Just because i don't know how to be angry or mad or yell at anyone...that doesn't mean i can't be one. Just because i choose silence in a fight & cry when i'm angry... That doesn't mean i can forever pretend that i don't know how to be that spoiled-rotten-bitch everyone would wish they never set eyes on.

Ok. Maybe i 'm not sure how to be one.
I'm in desperate need of a divine intervention.

Or maybe all i need is to make a joke. and then i'll laugh n everything would be just fine. :)
Ya..that's all i need to do.