The Girl In The White Dress

I was 11 when I first sang on stage in front of hundreds of people.

Tho I did not win anything, I'm not really sure why I have always thought that I was at fourth place, an inch away at being number third. No one knows who get that place anyway so maybe I was being my own judge and place myself there. The other girls was very very good. Such high note here and there and I get to see them sing first before my turn. Fuh.

I vaguely remember my dress that night. An oversize white or pink dress which is clearly not for 11 years old girl and the shoe was a bit err...big. I just didn't realize how big it was up until now. I had a conversation with mom and she finally told me the real story.

You know what have always been in my mind all these years? That my mom was there while I was on stage singing my heart out and there's this image of her clapping after I finished.

And guess what really happen?

My mom was not there. She did not even hear me sing, my first ever singing competition. She sent me off inside the competition hall and waited for me outside until it finish. She could not make herself see me there on stage in front of so many people, wearing a pair of an oversize shoes and a dress that didn't fit. I got a bit emotional when mom told me that.

I was 11 and I wore my mom's shoes. She said that i was so adamant of going that i put tissues to fill the gap in the shoes so that it can fit my small feet. There's nothing she can do or say to make me change my mind. God, I didn't even remember that. My mom told me that I didn't tell her about the competition until it was tomorrow so she could not look for a dress for me to wear and could not even make it to go to town to buy a nice pair of shoes for me because all the shops were already closed.

I'm not really sure why I didn't tell her about it earlier. I guess I'm just afraid she won't let me join the competition as how she could not let me go to any trip or birthday party because we didn't have much money to spend on fees or present.

Now everything is way better and for years, mom has been nagging me to go for a singing audition whenever she sees one. I can expect her to call me anytime just to remind me which places is holding an audition that day. I know she meant well and I don't mind either. I'm lucky to have such a supportive mother. Love you mom.

Come to think of it, there's an AF audition tomorrow, I reckon mom would call me sometime soon. I better decide now. ;-)