New Year's Eve

It's almost 2011. Feeling a bit nervous and also excited thinking of the great things the new year have to offer.

Happy New Year Everyone. I guess this is my last post for 2010. Again, it's been a full year, with so much things that had happen. And gratefulness is all i feel. :-)

Writing it here today.

KC bought me a white note book with a soft fabric cover for christmas present last year. And i decided to write something on it for the first time this very moment, right after i finish this post. I wonder how i should start.

For the past few weeks, i have also been thinking about myself and my life aimlessly. Uncertain. On what exactly did i found out, i'll keep that private.

And I have also been trying, and will do so again, to see anything that is difficult as a positive thing. That way, i will be able to challenge my own self-belief and inhibitions. Whenever i get through it, more often than not, it will open up my mind and i can just be entertain with an idea or situation even without accepting it. Being an open minded person is very helpful, especially about things that i don't know about.

And let me tell you one thing here. Never worry that you might change your mind about something and have people call you inconsistent. Who wants to be predictable anyway? As Osho said it, never afraid of contradicting yourself. Life itself is never constant but changing simultaneously with every breath each of us inhale every second of our lives.

So, go start anew. Today. While it matters.
Good night everyone. :)

Two Things I Want To Do This Year

In between a stomach ache and toilet bowl on new year, there's only two things that i'm thinking of aiming this year.

1) Go to a place i've never been before.
2) Do something i've never done before.

Happy New Year people!

Start of Something New

Everything change. And so does my blog layout. :)

Now, let me bore you with the early history of this blog first. On 13 July last year, i created this blog with the help of a very generous man, Wel. Thanks to him, i get to start blogging and make a proper presentation of the many ideas i have which always exhaust my friends in chats or in emails.

"Claire, pigi la kau buat blog."
"Buli jadi entry blog suda reply kau ni tau."

That was what my friends always told me back then because i tend to reply mails or chats with long and long sentences - sometimes a few paragraphs. And that's what prompt me to agree when Wel offered to set up this blog & help me with the technical stuff (template & all).

Today, i decide to change a bit of here and there, just to make a fresh start & motivate myself to blog more & to do what i love most. Rambling.

So, tadaa~ my new layout which i did it myself this time. ;) buli-buli tahan sja cantik la.

This Year

Just when i thought it's about time i spend some time & reflect my year of 2008, i had a rough start for the early days in 2009. For now, i guess my new year resolution would be quite simple and i got just the word to describe it.

Thrifty.

I spent quite a sum of money on unnecessary things during the Christmas celebration last year & there's not much left by the time to start a whole new year here in Penang. It would not be so much as a problem to me if everything else is normal & no drastic or immediate changes are going to happen. How wrong i was.

I received an email today from the management that for this month of January, all of the employee would have to take 5days (2nd, 12th, 28th, 29th and 30th January 2009) compulsory no pay leave in result of the low production & unclear orders from customers. For that kind of money worth, i can buy each of you bloggers a pair of matching pink skirt. That's how upset i am.

Professionally, i understand the circumstances & if it were my very own company i would have made the same decision. Nevertheless, understanding does not brush aside the fact that i'm unhappy & worried.

So, just incase the same thing happen for next month & the month after, i decided to set my mind on one thing only. That is to save as much money as i can get everyday.

1. No more happy hours every weekend unless it's free.
2. No more unnecessary shopping.
3. No more branded product.
4. Staying true to my word on the investment plan.
5. Read more books = staying more at home.
6. Keep fit & toned = pay less for food + it's a joint resolution with Mell to look like Elle or Alba by the end of this year... wink2
7. Stop bad habits...biar la rahsia apa dia...hehe
8. Keeping my feet on the ground as often as i can.
9. Love more, laugh often, smile everyday & live life less seriously. It's cheaper.
10. Last year lists of failed attempt........

What do you think? ;) It does not look too bad to me. As long as i don't lose my crazy side & dreamy moments...i'm content in my own free world. Ceria ba sy...hahaha

I'm single. I'm young. And i'm beautiful.
What's so good about that? Flirting is a hobby. [hihihi]

Good day everyone.....yeay~! hehe

p/s see how quick i can change my mood...by the end of the post, i'm all smiley smile again....hehe

Once and for all

This is my first post from sabah & also would be the last post of this year.

So many things happen during the long leave...as it had always been when i'm back at home for a holiday. Happy...jolly n merry...mad..sad...frustrating-to the point of giving up...mixed feelings about everything...
But i guess there's really nothing i can do to force something to happen or to make everything as i wish it to. Maybe i should just leave it to faith...And i should always remember not to make up my mind on something when i'm in a state of being mad, sad or upset...and even happy...because over emotional clouded our way of thinking and seeing things as we supposed to. Rational and realistic.

To tell & share it all here would not be possible not to mention inappropriate as most of it is very very personal...but telling it here..without actually telling anything..well at least trying and letting a bit out actually help. even if it's just a tiny bit.

Some things are just so hard for me and the people close to me, that at times i wonder if it will ever gets better. What would it takes to make it all right again...does someone have to die? or get crazy? maybe then a blind eyes can see and a numb heart can start beating again [eyes & heart are two different pple]....i don't know.

Apart from that...everything else is just so so and interesting things did happen to me every now and then...

All in all....2008 is just another experience to add as i grew older every year & i would keep some & bury the rest. One thing i really want to tell to all of the people who get to know me and be part of my life, i really want to thank you for just about everything...whatever it is...regardless of the reason...even if it's not a happy one...even if it takes just a fraction of second...the fact is, we have crossed path & able to journey together...2 miles...2 blocks away...5minutes of exchanged smile...it helps to finish the sketch of my life and put all the colors in.

Ntah apa sda sy merepek...but really...thanks ;)

New year is closely approaching and just like everyone else, i really really hope that it will be a new beginning and new everything to me...maybe not all new but at least much way better...and i know it's up to me to make it so.

And i'm sorry...... i really am... to the things that i should apologize. i know it..and you know it...everyone of you that feel that i owe you one....manatau ada sy lupa..hehe

I wish you all a great and blessed year ahead. ;) cheers!

p/s i used to hate the 'cheers' word because the bitch that fcuk my ex away said that to me.
Did i just typed that? hehe...ok....no hard feelings...cheers again! ;)

New

At last...

13 Dec 08, 11am - up from bed, started cleaning & packing.
13 Dec 08, 1pm - still cleaning & packing.
13 Dec 08, 3pm - start moving things to the new house trip by trip.
13 Dec 08, 7pm - 3rd trip...
13 Dec 08, 11pm - Final trip for the day.
13 Dec 08, 11.30pm - started cleaning the new room, unpacked.
14 Dec 08 1.00am - new room is fit to stay in for the night.
14 Dec 08, 1.30am - freshen up & went supper...stay a while for the ManU & Spurs match.
14 Dec 08, 2.30am - at new home & watch heroes ;)
14 Dec 08, 4.30am - did a small prayer for the new house & new room...read a chapter in the bible.
14 Dec 08, 4.45am - sleeping for the 1st time in new room & new house. felt different, uneasy. put the bible beside the pillow. sleep.
14 Dec 08, 10.00am - woke up. felt confuse & eyes blinking around the unfamiliar room. found out that it's the new house. silly me.
14 Dec 08, 11.30am - went to the workshop to settle/spray the scratched driver's car door. still sakit ati with the unknown stupid asshole who did it. the place closed. forgot that it's Sunday. shit. went for lunch instead.
14 Dec 08, 12.30pm - again, went to the old house, finish all the packing & emptying the house. cleaning again.
14 Dec 08, 2.45pm - back at the new house. sat and rest in front of the house. at the road side actually. take a puff & sighing a relief over the finish packing & moving. all the unpacking & cleaning for the new house can wait.
14 Dec, 3.00pm - at the room, typing this post.

bye bye house... ;)

That's how my Saturday & Sunday are filled with. So damn tired & muscle aching all over...but it's kind of a workout i guess cos my arms & thigh feel like muscling up...toned. hehe

now...

So..bye bye to the old house that i lived in for only 2months, and welcome to myself to the new house that i hope would last for as long as i'm still working around here. This new house is smaller than the previous one, no balcony outside my room, my room a bit smaller but at least there are not much hassle with the owner, this n that probs like it did with the old one. I have a good feeling about this. ;) i hope i'm right this time.

The end.

Happy

No one is born happy. But all of us are born with the ability to create happiness.

Went picnic at Batu Feringghi yesterday. It was fun & healthy until the time to go back. I had a headache again. [sigh]

Peace to the world...

The picnic went surprisingly well tho. I got just a slight brown healthy shade of tan. Lying over the mat on the sand...thinking about things...this..and that...and finally decide to let it all go at that moment...so now, i'm quite empty & clear headed. [smile]

Walking back...

I don't quit or succumb easily for any reason before. I fight for it..even if some people told me it's not worth it.

But now...where does all of that gone to?
Maybe i'm tired of trying to figure out what's there for me...or if i'm in for anything...

"Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within. It is not what we see and touch or that which others do for us which makes us happy; it is that which we think and feel and do, first for the other fellow and then for ourselves." - Helen Keller

p/s And to add to my blurry meaning of happiness, Chelsea lost for the first time to Liverpool last Sunday..and it's Home for goat sake!

Bye...

This is going to be the last time i'm posting an entry here in this small room. The packing is almost 80% done & after this post, this pc would be the final item to go into the box...

I'm quite excited moving to a new house & new area...but also a bit worried if things are going to be okay at the new place. I am so tired now after the 3rd trip sending all the stuff to the new house...and i'm not really into making any new post but this just have to be done. The final moment. ;)

I have a lot of unpacking & cleaning stuff awaiting me after this so i better make this quick.

Goodbye my room & this house for i am going to a new one now...i'll still try to find a time to visit here but just incase i don't, be good to the new occupant of this room & i appreaciate you for giving me shelter for almost a year now...Don't be sad & change the wall to weathered old for the new living here ok...be good to them just like u've been good to me all this while..thanks Roomie & Housey...;)

The morning skirt...

As I put on my working skirt this morning, I found it to be a little bit tighter on the waist…I couldn’t believe I can get anymore fatter than 54kg…come on…a few glass of beer at Kedai Dusun can’t be that fattening…[sigh]

So…I was wondering actually what topics will I be putting here on my blog. Most of the time I post politics issues to the boring-boring loop on mail during work…mmm maybe that would be one of it…and I love books…so maybe I can post about that too…animals…Charity…Sports…What else….mmm owh! Maybe I should also put in about all those great & wonderful places that have been waiting for my feet to step on its soil….yet. [smug]
Or maybe just everyday bits of stuff that happen to me…uuu…can’t wait…but also can’t seem to express it well on words..i guess I just need more practice…caiyo!

O ya..i was watching Kung Fu Panda last night..it’s hilarious & I actually watched it twice in a row…hihi personally i think it’s a very good and well done film…the turtle, Master Oogway on it was saying…
“Yesterday is history… Tomorrow is a mystery… Today is a gift. That is why it is called the present...” nice one…

Hi Guys!

Officially! I managed to setup my own blog! Will update soon...