Logic

Feelings are not supposed to be logical. It would only make you more confuse & lost.

A lot of people ask me about my decision on being single all this while. Even my boss at work asked me about it. He could not comprehend the idea of someone as gorgeous & attractive [overkill. i know.] like me do not have someone special for quite a long time. Well, not really that long actually.

I'm sure many people will agree with me that after so many failed attempt at creating a happily-ever-after relationship, the feelings about the whole thing would eventually become stagnant in a sense of giving it the lowest priority in life. Most of the time, life is not just about being in love with someone [except your family]. And it's not just because of a bad past relationship either. Something that did not work out like how you want it should not necessarily viewed as a mistake or a bad thing. Things just happen sometimes. Either people simply have a change of heart or it's time for the other person to take on a new chapter in his/her life.

At one point, accumulate mix-feelings & the experience one had over the whole love-crush-heart break-infatuation-lust-vulnerable-stupidity thing will somehow make the person so over it that all he/she want to do is sit back & let life & time take over & decide everything. When you are ready, then you will. There's no need to push it or go looking for the 'thing' like some treasure hunt you used to participate in school & ended up settling for second best. To make do with what you have. Something you think you want but does not really sure if it's something mutual.

That is why i look at every encounter & moments with someone as a gift & my turn of sharing. Whether you realize it or not, each and every people that we get to meet help shape our mind, heart & life no matter how short the shared time is.

So, try never to look at people around you with just tiny regards but rather as an individual that contribute to your chain of energy, existence & happiness, which most of the time we never realize first hand but true anyway.

It's just a post

We all have our issues in whatever things we are trying to decide. Especially when it comes to a relationship. Sometimes we don't want to listen to our inner voice telling us what's real but choose to be realistic and let the so-called brick wall to take over for a some kind of a defense to being vulnerable.

Everyone got a bad past relationship & somehow that actually makes us mo cautious & picky to whom we want to give our heart next. I've learn & endure a lot of painful experience for being in love before but i still believe to this very moment that i can always love again. When the time is right. There are just so many types of emotion close to the definition of love that sometimes trick us into believing in it. We thought we are in love but at the same time we do not know whether it's mutual or not.

Well, define love.

As times passed by, usually we will realize that it's just a typical infatuation between a guy & a girl or it may actually is the strong feelings but it's just a one sided relationship.

What i'm trying to tell here is that, a relationship is a give-and-take and definitely needs to be equally involve between two person.

Sometimes, i have these thought of wanting the next person in my life to be a complete strangers so that we will have to start from scratch & that you don't have the problems of trying to be more that what you are so that you are good enough for them. They'll realize you are worth it because they found you out of the blue. Not something that have been in front of you for ages but you are just too stupid to notice. The good thing between falling in love with the guy next door & someone you met coincidentally is that, with the latter it's usually deals more on the future than with the past. Still, it's a tricky business.

Even if most of the time we tell ourselves that it's nothing you can't handle or control..it still hurt when the realization hits home. But don't keep dwelling on it. Wipe your tears & turn the page. After all, the sun always comes out again after every storm. :)

Reminds me of the song from Ciara...

"If that boy don't love you by now
He will never ever, never ever love you...
Baby, I can't help but fantasize
Wondering what it might be like
You and I sound so right
But I'mma let it go tonight, it ain't nothin'
Coverin' my eyes
Ain't gonna see it more than twice
I get it, I got it
Baby, baby
Ciara ft Young Jeezy Lyrics - Never Ever"

By the way, i'm not giving up on love if that's what you think i'm doing.

It's just a post. :)