...is simple. Maybe just not easy.
I wonder how the writers do it. They must have lots of writer's block moment and yet they keep coming in with new books and stories. I don't exactly have any kind of block but it's just that whenever I have something to write about, before I even start typing a few words, there's always this heavy feeling or excuse coming out from deep within my chest that makes me stop and never start on anything.
There has been so much things going on in these last few months and naturally for other people who's having this kind of moments, there will be much to tell...lots of stuff to share but suddenly I'm becoming more private than ever.
Life has been fair. I'm grateful for everything. Whether it's hard, it's great or it's confusing...gratitude is all i feel right now.
Sometimes you see people around you chasing after something, walking fast to be there first, to save the time and go to the next thing. Even myself feel impatient with how things are turning out once in while. There's always a need to feel something in a blink of an eye. To have something right away.
But at this very moment, I feel like I just want to go slow with the flow of life. Something like going slow motion with living. I don't want to hurry but be there when it happens.
And I'm happy just the way I am now.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Monday, October 4, 2010
Life
Life is what happen when you busy not making any plans but just live life the way you know how.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Bila kana call pukul 3 pagi...
...ini lah kejadian dia. Terpaksa ada luahan nda tahan mau simpan nda dapat tidur.
Satu ja la sy mau bagitau kau. Jangan telampau jahat sama orang sebab apa pun yang berlaku akan jadi sama semua orang juga bergantung sama macamna gaya kau selama ini. You reap what you sow. Or the famous saying of what comes around will always comes back around.
Cuma kadang-kadang, kalau pasal mentaliti, susah mau ubah sebab kalau sudah memang tembirang seja gaya sama cara berfikir memang tembirang seja la tu biar apa pun kau cakap. Ramai juga yang nda pandai sedar yang kalau dorang buat jahat sama orang sekarang, benda-benda begitu mesti (200% mesti) akan berlaku juga sama dorang tu lain kali. Telampau banyak sudah contoh berlaku mcmtu. Kalau kau masih nda tau, then you'll have your time soon. Bukan juga mau menyumpah orang tapi mcmtu seja baru orang sedar supaya jangan telampau jahat sama kasi betul sikit tu pikiran lah kalau buli.
Jangan ada tu fikiran yang kalau masa tu kau ada duit, 'ada-ada' la orang bilang, semua orang lain yang miskin kau mau pandang rendah. Atau kau mau sampai orang terfikir yang kau anggap dia mcm sampah-sampah seja teda guna-guna sebab apa harta pun teda jadi apa cakapan pun nda buli pakai. Kau gila kah? Ingat orang kaya seja punya cakapan buli guna kah?
Ni kali tia pa. Saya faham juga kenapa mau buat begini. Kasi chance la. Lain kali, bila sampai sudah masa dia semua benda mau bongkar kasi shove di muka kamurang, I wish to God saya ada sana masa tu. How dare you do all these things to the person I love most.
All the things she and I have been wanting to say to all of you. Especially her. Saya nda apa lagi, muda lagi baru 17 tahun jadi ada banyak lagi benda yang saya belum terasa semua. Tapi pigi buat benda begitu sama orang yang berpuluh-puluh tahun suda hidup di dunia. Macam nda cukup-cukup lagi kesusahan mau kasi rasa. Jaga la kamurang semua betul-betul nanti.
Sabar seja la dulu ah. Everything will always go right in the end.
Satu ja la sy mau bagitau kau. Jangan telampau jahat sama orang sebab apa pun yang berlaku akan jadi sama semua orang juga bergantung sama macamna gaya kau selama ini. You reap what you sow. Or the famous saying of what comes around will always comes back around.
Cuma kadang-kadang, kalau pasal mentaliti, susah mau ubah sebab kalau sudah memang tembirang seja gaya sama cara berfikir memang tembirang seja la tu biar apa pun kau cakap. Ramai juga yang nda pandai sedar yang kalau dorang buat jahat sama orang sekarang, benda-benda begitu mesti (200% mesti) akan berlaku juga sama dorang tu lain kali. Telampau banyak sudah contoh berlaku mcmtu. Kalau kau masih nda tau, then you'll have your time soon. Bukan juga mau menyumpah orang tapi mcmtu seja baru orang sedar supaya jangan telampau jahat sama kasi betul sikit tu pikiran lah kalau buli.
Jangan ada tu fikiran yang kalau masa tu kau ada duit, 'ada-ada' la orang bilang, semua orang lain yang miskin kau mau pandang rendah. Atau kau mau sampai orang terfikir yang kau anggap dia mcm sampah-sampah seja teda guna-guna sebab apa harta pun teda jadi apa cakapan pun nda buli pakai. Kau gila kah? Ingat orang kaya seja punya cakapan buli guna kah?
Ni kali tia pa. Saya faham juga kenapa mau buat begini. Kasi chance la. Lain kali, bila sampai sudah masa dia semua benda mau bongkar kasi shove di muka kamurang, I wish to God saya ada sana masa tu. How dare you do all these things to the person I love most.
All the things she and I have been wanting to say to all of you. Especially her. Saya nda apa lagi, muda lagi baru 17 tahun jadi ada banyak lagi benda yang saya belum terasa semua. Tapi pigi buat benda begitu sama orang yang berpuluh-puluh tahun suda hidup di dunia. Macam nda cukup-cukup lagi kesusahan mau kasi rasa. Jaga la kamurang semua betul-betul nanti.
Sabar seja la dulu ah. Everything will always go right in the end.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Of Being Dusun
I almost forgot just how proud I have always been of being born a Dusun girl. Of how unique the culture and the language are. And how beautiful everything it represents.
It must be because I've been listening to Dusun's songs almost everyday these last few weeks and sometimes it feels closer to home and it makes me realize that I'm not that Penangite after all.
I have to thank my friend Jewin for telling me about his sister's blog (in which I have taken instant likeness after reading the first entry) and also the song in the post that have made all the forgotten emotion to re-surface and I have this huge fondness for the kid Sakril Sidik @ Adi who sang that song, Tinggur Bulawan beautifully. It's just so sad that he passed away too soon. May his soul rest in peace.
There's so much to tell about Dusun and I'm not quite sure if I can do the justice it deserve in writing so here's something short taken from Wikipedia. If you want to know more, go get a Dusun friend now. ;-)
"The vast majority of Kadazandusuns live in the hills and upland valleys and have a reputation for peacefulness, hospitality, hard work, frugality, drinking, and are averse to violence, although in the recent past they did indulge in headhunting as part of their tribal wars.
Kadazandusuns are known as the Latin artists of the East, being famous in the state for love and passion for music. Their traditional dances appear attractive and gentle full of passion for life, making the Kadazandusun culture a popular and beautiful one, and much sought by tourists to Sabah.
Even though Kadazandusuns are known for their peaceful nature, they are also well known for their bravery and defiant nature towards oppression and foreign rule." - Wikipedia
I once had a chat with Jewin about the on-going dispute between Malaysia and Indonesia.
Claire: Macamna la kalau tiba-tiba durang pigi serang kita?
Jewin: Nda payah takut ba kita di Sabah. Kita kan born warriors.
Hehe
p/s Intangai ku kaagu ti sorita nga amu pama haro dusun-dusun dau pointulis...iti nopo nga kosukup lah. :-D
It must be because I've been listening to Dusun's songs almost everyday these last few weeks and sometimes it feels closer to home and it makes me realize that I'm not that Penangite after all.
I have to thank my friend Jewin for telling me about his sister's blog (in which I have taken instant likeness after reading the first entry) and also the song in the post that have made all the forgotten emotion to re-surface and I have this huge fondness for the kid Sakril Sidik @ Adi who sang that song, Tinggur Bulawan beautifully. It's just so sad that he passed away too soon. May his soul rest in peace.
There's so much to tell about Dusun and I'm not quite sure if I can do the justice it deserve in writing so here's something short taken from Wikipedia. If you want to know more, go get a Dusun friend now. ;-)
"The vast majority of Kadazandusuns live in the hills and upland valleys and have a reputation for peacefulness, hospitality, hard work, frugality, drinking, and are averse to violence, although in the recent past they did indulge in headhunting as part of their tribal wars.
Kadazandusuns are known as the Latin artists of the East, being famous in the state for love and passion for music. Their traditional dances appear attractive and gentle full of passion for life, making the Kadazandusun culture a popular and beautiful one, and much sought by tourists to Sabah.
Even though Kadazandusuns are known for their peaceful nature, they are also well known for their bravery and defiant nature towards oppression and foreign rule." - Wikipedia
I once had a chat with Jewin about the on-going dispute between Malaysia and Indonesia.
Claire: Macamna la kalau tiba-tiba durang pigi serang kita?
Jewin: Nda payah takut ba kita di Sabah. Kita kan born warriors.
Hehe
p/s Intangai ku kaagu ti sorita nga amu pama haro dusun-dusun dau pointulis...iti nopo nga kosukup lah. :-D
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Make It Go Away
My chest have been hurting since last night. It hurt so much it won't go away anymore. It is there all the time and all I can do to ignore it is to keep myself busy with work. It's not because I had a nasty cough or that I ran into a pole, but it's like the one you feel when you lost something you hold dear, or when you realize that it's hurting too much, or when you see someone you love can never be happy with you the way they are happy with somebody else.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo
Guess who get to play the most coveted role of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo alongside delicious man Daniel Craig?
Rooney Mara.
Rooney who? Hehe...not Wayne Rooney. Relax.
Natalie Portman, Ellen Page and even Scarlett Johansson auditioned for the role but I guess they decided to go for a new face this time. The problem with new comer is that, they sometimes lack the experience to come out with a good acting skills and own the character. There are many example of this and I have already experience the Swedish version of the movie and was hugely disappointed. Maybe because the movie was in Swedish and I'm not familiar with the cast and the language so it could be the reason why I could not bring myself to even finish watching the movie.
So when I first heard that they are going to do the Hollywood version of the best selling trilogy by Stieg Larsson, I was very excited and been waiting anxiously for who will get Lisbeth Salander's role.
So now that I know, I'm not really sure I'm satisfied with the pick but I really hope she'll do a good job with it. Please please please lah bah. You already got Daniel Craig for Mikael Blomkvist's role so at least be at the same par of performance lah k Rooney.
Rooney Mara.
Rooney who? Hehe...not Wayne Rooney. Relax.
Natalie Portman, Ellen Page and even Scarlett Johansson auditioned for the role but I guess they decided to go for a new face this time. The problem with new comer is that, they sometimes lack the experience to come out with a good acting skills and own the character. There are many example of this and I have already experience the Swedish version of the movie and was hugely disappointed. Maybe because the movie was in Swedish and I'm not familiar with the cast and the language so it could be the reason why I could not bring myself to even finish watching the movie.
So when I first heard that they are going to do the Hollywood version of the best selling trilogy by Stieg Larsson, I was very excited and been waiting anxiously for who will get Lisbeth Salander's role.
So now that I know, I'm not really sure I'm satisfied with the pick but I really hope she'll do a good job with it. Please please please lah bah. You already got Daniel Craig for Mikael Blomkvist's role so at least be at the same par of performance lah k Rooney.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Monday, August 2, 2010
Kali terakhir di Silitech
Baru lepas main badminton lewat petang td.
Rasa macam mau pingsan pun ada.
Bergegar2 segala jari jemari dan senda sendi.
Rasa macam mau pingsan pun ada.
Bergegar2 segala jari jemari dan senda sendi.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
First Sunday of August
Sometimes they say that people around you know about certain things more than you do because they have been doing the observation so they will judge better since they are not clouded by any emotion or bias perception about the matter.
And once it happen, you will say things like 'If they only knew!' - well, they don't. Because they're not you. Let me put it this way. Someone can care for you and still not understand your every motive, emotion, need, and desire.
Life have been confusing and hard these days but somehow, out of nowhere there's this feeling bursting out from deep within telling me that it is all under my own control and decision. People can say and tell you about many things - of what to do and what is right but at the end of the day you will be alone again and it is actually depend on how do you want to live your life and no one else can live it for you. Put aside whatever people say about things and just do what you feel right.
This time around, I am going to do whatever I want to and start all over again. Doing the best I can for my own life. Along the way, people will drop by and leave their markings on the door and soon they will be gone and that is meant to be. Their turn have come to put a color to your sketch of life. And when they are done, go on and do the same.
Just be grateful of it and be happy.
And once it happen, you will say things like 'If they only knew!' - well, they don't. Because they're not you. Let me put it this way. Someone can care for you and still not understand your every motive, emotion, need, and desire.
Life have been confusing and hard these days but somehow, out of nowhere there's this feeling bursting out from deep within telling me that it is all under my own control and decision. People can say and tell you about many things - of what to do and what is right but at the end of the day you will be alone again and it is actually depend on how do you want to live your life and no one else can live it for you. Put aside whatever people say about things and just do what you feel right.
This time around, I am going to do whatever I want to and start all over again. Doing the best I can for my own life. Along the way, people will drop by and leave their markings on the door and soon they will be gone and that is meant to be. Their turn have come to put a color to your sketch of life. And when they are done, go on and do the same.
Just be grateful of it and be happy.
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